Roadies

Part 12

"Well, Alex, I see you're still screwing things that don't belong to you." Cassie stares at me, a hurt caused oh so long ago still staining her features. She'd changed so much since the last time I saw her, her eyes were a different color for one, meaning she's wearing contacts, since her eyes were mitch match. Her hair was long, sweeping over her shoulders and down her back in straight waves of pure artificial gold. She was much thinner than I ever remember her being, she'd lost her braces, and stopped dressing like a homeless man. She'd grown breasts, bigger than my own, she wasn't clinging onto some guy that didn't give two shits about her, or maybe she was I'm not too sure.

But the one thing that's still the same, the mistreatment of a friend, the disappointed look she had on her face all those years ago was still solidly plastered on her face. She looked like she was ready to kill me then and she does right now. I don't understand what any of what happened between Jared and I just moments ago had to do with her, but she somehow brought it back to herself. Per usual.

Despite me thinking she's a self righteous bitch, the guilt still hits me in waves. I was guilty of sleeping with her boyfriend, with her brother, and everyone else. I was guilty of destroying her entire family. I may not have slept with her boyfriend when she thought I had, but I still did it. I still took the time to screw someone that wasn't mine in her bed with her brother, because that's who I am. I'm the selfish, angry, bitch who doesn't care about anyone but herself. Retaliation was the only thing I knew, I made sure that it was the only thing I had, because she was my best friend. I was supposed to be the one she stood behind not some douchebag boyfriend that used her to get to me, but no matter what I said then, or how I try to defend myself now, I'm the bad guy not just in her eyes, but in my own as well.

I was the one that chose to fuck him, I was the one that cheated on my husband, that retaliated the way I did. I'm the one that hurt Jared, that hurt Cassie when she had no reason to be hurt by me. I was the one that was at fault for so much and maybe if I wasn't so hell bent on proving her right we'd be friends still, maybe if I'd just kept my legs closed for once, but she didn't think about what I was going through. All she saw was her boyfriend ogling me like I was some kind of cheap whore. She didn't think about how much pain I was in with my family breaking up the way it had, how Grayson left me to fend for myself. If she was any kind of friend I thought she was she wouldn't have left me when I needed her most, she wouldn't have chosen such an asshole boyfriend over me. Over someone she called her best friend, her sister, and after all these years she hasn't changed one bit.

I didn't know what to say to her, I was too far gone in the pain I'd felt then, meddling and mixing with all the anguish I'd been through these last few years. She didn't know me then and she doesn't know me now. She knew the pain then, but she didn't know about all the shit that was happening with me now. She was making assumption and playing the blame game like always. She had no idea, but maybe she never did, maybe when I thought she was listening she really wasn't. Maybe our friendship was nothing but a fake.

Seeing her, coming to the realization that everything we had was a lie I couldn't stop the pain from boiling over. I'd been in so much pain. Jared leaving me, not once but twice, living without my husband for so long, sleeping with everyone I could, losing my best friend, my parents breaking up, my brother, my protector leaving me. Losing my baby. It was too much.

I could feel the anger creeping up my throat, clawing it's way to the top followed by the heat of tears, my heart bottoming out as the rage and misery take hold of my body.

"You don't even know me. You have no right to stand here and act like your Gods gift to green earth. Yeah I fucked your boyfriend and your brother, at the same time. I never slept with him while we were friends, I'd never hurt you, turn away from you like you did to me. You left me alone. You were my BEST FRIEND Cassandra! You turned your back on me like I was NOTHING to you for some asshole boyfriend who took the first chance he had to fuck me in your bed. And I loved it. I loved the way they both screamed my name, took me for all I was worth." Her face turns from cold hearted bitch to mortified. "You may not have ever been my friend, but you should've known not to fuck with me. Everyone knew that much about me."