Shattered Illusions (ON HOLD)

Chapter 19 (Updated)

He was being an extreme softie, not a trace of his usual perverted self to be seen. He seemed relaxed and he was more open with me than ever before. When he finally began to talk, i listened with my full attention. He told me stories of the troubles he and Sides got into back on Cybertron before the war, friends they once had, what they enjoyed doing, things they did just to make it while living in the slums. Eventually I began to doze off, the soothing tone of his voice and the comfortable hold he had on me made it a struggle to stay awake.

I felt a hand gently trace my cheek.

"Sleep tight Cookie." i heard him murmur before I finally succumbed to sleep

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When I woke up I just sat comfortably in Sunny's alt, apparently he had moved me sometime while i was asleep. There was a holoformic blanket draped over me and I cuddled into it, it was early morning, but I didn't want to leave just yet. Plus I could tell Sunny was deep in recharge. A smile formed on my face as I pet the seats of his alt. My heart was racing, it had been for a while, I felt so jittery it was unreal. I knew it was my feeling for him getting deeper, I was happy we had the time to grow closer last night. I know he needed it and i definitely needed it.

What scared me the most was us not working, I was a human from another dimension, while I was a lot better at defending myself. There was still that paranoia of being suddenly shipped back to my old world, back to the world I didn't belong. I prayed to whatever God may exist that this wasn't some kind of sick joke on me.

The overwhelming sense of dread at that thought was dizzying. I could feel the panic and the dread making my heart drop at the thought of finally having everything I wanted and then to have it suddenly stripped away. If I were to be sent back to my old world, it would kill me. I wouldn't be able to function. Hell just the thought of being in a coma and this world being some sort of fabrication of my subconscious was paralyzing in itself. It flipped my mental-world around like some twilight-zone bullshit.

But i knew this was real, and I needed to ensure that it stayed real. If I were to be sent back to a world where all the beings I loved were nothing but fiction, i would go nuts.

I found myself cuddling into Sunstreaker's seats, using him to keep my head on straight. I was pretty sure I was slowly easing into a panic-attack. I needed to get my thinking straight, before i did drop into an attack. But the thoughts were too loud to ignore.

Everything was going so good, too good. I was absolutely terrified of losing this. I had fallen in love with this world, I had finally found the family I've wanted, and by some miracle, romance. I firmly clenched my fist, I was going to make sure i didn't lose this. Even if I had to sell my soul off to the highest bidder, if that were even possible.

"Cookie?"

I jumped slightly and looked up at Sunstreaker's radio.

"Yes?" I questioned, my voice shaky, i quickly tried to hide it, but I felt i was too late. I'm sure Sunny noticed.

"Are you okay? Your anxiety levels went up." He tone showed concern.

I gave a nod and forced myself to seem relaxed.

"I'm fine Sunny, just, thinking." I looked away from his radio, a sigh escaping me

"You aint going to lose us, you're stuck with me and Sides, so try not to worry." Sunny was able to read exactly what was going through my mind.

Soon both twins were going to be able to read me like a friggin book, and i honestly don't know how to feel about that.

I nod as I scratched the back of my head.

"Its just hard not to worry." I sit up to stretch with reluctance, beginning to fix my hair since it became rather messy.

"You should probably take me back, Sides will be looking for me soon." I murmur, I didn't want to leave him, I hated that fact that he had to be alone, but the next time I see him I'll be sure to make it up to him.

"Yeah, you're probably right." I could hear the hesitance in his tone as he started his engine before beginning to drive to the spot he dropped me off last time.

We sat in a comfortable silence as he drove, Sunny seemed to be in thought, and I didn't want to disturb him. Seeing my stop getting closer i looked over to the radio.

"Last night was great, I want to see you again soon." I told him honestly once he came to a stop.

"Don't worry, you will be~" He purred, i snorted and got out, giving his hood at pat, to which he gave me a purr.

"I'd give you a kiss but I do believe brother dearest is near." he hummed before shutting his door and taking off with a loud rev of his engine.

I shook my head with a fond smile.

"Show off."