FEELINGS IN MADNESS...a Journey In Song

Thinking Errors

Thinking Errors
why we think like we do

There are several reasons that make us think dysfunctionally like we do. The definition of “thinking Errors” according to Reachout.comthinking errors are “ irrational patterns of thinking that can cause you to think bad and sometimes act in self defeating ways. If something makes you feel bad maybe its the way that you think about that that makes you more anxious, more unsettled, like a failure then you normally would think.

Challenging your thinking errors 

Here are ten thinking errors and ways to challenge them:

1. BLACK AND WHITE THINKING
This thinking error is when you only see things in good or bad, right or wrong. There is no in between. Example: Either your great or your a loser. If you don't weigh 125 your ugly and fat. If you do something bad and make a mistake your a failure.

THE CHALLENGE: Look for shades of gray: Its important to avoid thinking about things in terms of extremes. Most things aren't black and white but they are somewhere in between. Just because something isn't perfect it does not mean that it is a total disaster. You look in the mirror and see failure...that doesn't mean that its true.
* Ask yourself a few questions
A) Is it really so bad? 
B) Am I seeing things in total yes or absolute no?
C) How else can I think about the situation without being so judgmental.
D) Am I taking things to extreme view?

2. UNREAL IDEAL
Another thinking error is to make unfair comparisons between individuals and yourself. When you do this you compare yourself with people that have a specific advantage in some area. Making unfair assumptions between yourself and them. This can leave you thinkingthat you aren't worth anything like love, compassion, empathy because you could never be as good as them. Always being critical of yourself.

THE CHALLENGE: Stop making unfair comparisons.
Ask yourself:
A) am I comparing myself to people who have a particular advantage? For example They are good singers yet I cannot sing so im bad.
B) Am I making fair comparisons like they've been swimming for the last five years and Ive never swam before. They are better then me so ill never be good at it.

3. FILTERING: When you filter, first you hone in on the negative aspects of your situation. Then you totally ignore or dismiss all the positive aspects of the situation.
THE CHALLENGE: consider the whole picture not just seeing half. Ask yourself..
A) Am I only focusing on the negatives, while ignoring the positives?
B) Is there a more balanced, in terms of seeing the whole picture, way of looking at the situation that doesn't make me the bad ?
C) I got a C on my test, everyone else got higher then me I just know they did.

4. PERSONALIZING: The self blame game
When you personalize, you blame yourself for anything that goes wrong, even when its not your fault or responsibility.
THE CHALLENGE: FIND ALL THE CAUSES Ask yourself:
A) am I really to blame? Is this all about me?
B) What other explanations might there be for this situation?
This one is very hard to get past as you blame yourself for everything anyway. You think everything is your fault and you hate yourself so it must be your fault...even tho that is not true.

5. MIND READING:
We often think that we know what other people are thinking. We assume that others are focused on our faults, the way we dress, talk, the color of our hair not to mention our weaknesses. Yet this perception is often wrong!! REMEMBER you are your worst critic. How you feel about yourself or think about yourself isn't what most people think of you.
THE CHALLENGE: DON'T ASSUME THAT YOU KNOW WHAT OTHERS ARE THINKING. Ask yourself
A) What is the evidence? How do I know what other people are actually thinking?
B) Just because I assume something does not mean that is really what they are thinking, I need to ask myself “ Am I right about what they are thinking?”