Ink Stained

85: hidden truth*

隠された真実

Despite Yamajijii's jarring revelation that made her forget to eat dinner last night until Shiori dragged her into the dining room for it, she hadn't forgotten her promise to meet with Aihara.

She wished she had.

But she didn't.

"I really thought you weren't going to come. It's been almost a month since we last spoke." Aihara greeted her with a small, knowing smile from her side of the desk, with papers and folders neatly arranged next to her computer, screen blackened. Her red glasses were perched in her hair, the lenses catching fragments of light from the window behind her.

Everything in her office was ordered with such perfect care. Even the fountain pen lying on a plain white notepad sat aligned with the side of the notepad. The curtain over the window was tied neatly to the side. All the beds in the room behind her were made with the blankets folded carefully up to the clean white pillows, devoid of wrinkles.

It made her want to flip a table and hurl everything around the room, mess it all up so it was just as imperfect as she was.

"I was busy." That was vague enough to satisfy Aihara without giving any details.

Pictures flashed in her mind, of Shinigami acting unlike himself when he had the chance to kill her. Shin looking up at her as he fixed up her wounded knee. Sato winding himself around her feet as he shot death glares at the Kitsune. Kagetora standing on the balcony of his beautiful abode, as lonely as Kuniumi said he was when they left the island he spread terrifying rumours about to chase off any people from inhabiting it.

'Busy' was one way to put it.

"Nevertheless," Aihara replied courteously. "Thank you for meeting me."

She dragged her absently wandering gaze from the window to the nurse. The blue Yosei was still there, bumping against the glass. Its translucent wings had lost some of its shimmer. Its whole body had grown dull, not aglow with a pale light of blue around its whole body like last time she'd seen it there.

She was honestly getting concerned that it was going to be brain damaged by the time it eventually stopped. Or was it that it simply didn't realize it was doing itself harm? Did Aihara not try to chase it away, just so it wouldn't hurt itself anymore, because she was worried other Yori Chiisai may notice her awareness of their existence? Did she know what really happened to Shiharu, and worry that a malefic Yori Chiisai like Teke Teke would notice her?

Was that the price of maintaining their safety? Having to watch a living being, no matter how unlike your, continuously hurt itself, yet unable to stop or help it because you risked your own safety by doing so?

It made her feel sick.

"Sure." She shrugged noncommittally, trying to push the memories of blood spurting everywhere as metal tore Shiharu's body to meaty pieces.

Sitting in Aihara's office again, this time knowing that she had to be on her guard, ratcheted up her discomfort to unseemly levels. It was especially made difficult by the fact that Shiori looked a little suspicious when Pai said she was going to the nurse's office to lie down for a little rest during the lunch break. Pai had told her she would be back in time for their next class. Which was Math.

With Shin, parading around as 'Hayashi-sensei'.

She was trying not to think too much about that. She had managed the last week without bumping into him at Ayashi House since they got back. She could do it at school too, even if she felt like an awkward hedgehog every time she ducked behind a corridor or in an empty classroom when she saw him in the halls – an actual Kamigami in the halls of Odori High, as if that was normal.