Just Fandom Things [The Outsiders]

It's a Barbie World

Twas a sunny day, but alas, a boring one for our greasers, Sodapop Curtis and Two-Bit Mathews. Both were bored out of their minds, and Two-Bit let whoever was listening know this.

"Sodaboy? I mean, Ponypop? I mean, buddy?"

"Yeah?" Soda lazily replied, taking another sip of Coca-Cola, trying to make it last.

"I'm particularly bored at this moment."

For the eighth time Sodapop cringed. "Well, do somethin'."

The words "do something," were nothing but permission for Two-Bit to seriously harass someone. As mentioned, this had already happened eight times today. Why Soda never got up and went home to enjoy his day off from the DX, he'll never understand.

So this time around, rather than belching beer burps in his face or imitating Mickey Mouse, Two-Bit tugged one strand of Soda's gold hair, then another, then a few more, until an entire small part of his hair was sticking in many directions and not slicked down all tuff like the rest.

Before Soda could grab Two-Bit's wrist and twist it until it snapped, he suddenly announced in a loud, cheerful voice, "Let's play dolls!"

Honestly, Sodapop had no response.

"Kendra has a load of 'em upstairs. Tons. Thousands. Maybe even hundreds. C'mon!" Two-Bit flounced away, and, not seeing anything else better to do, Soda followed.

By the time the reluctant Soda made it up what seemed fifty flights of stairs, the bouncing Two-Bit had a shoebox out on the floor and at least ten Barbies scattered in a circle around him.

"Soda, Soda, look!" Two-Bit grinned and picked up a blonde doll missing a blue high-heeled shoe. "This one can be yours 'cause she looks just like Sandy."

If that wasn't an insult to the love of his life, Sodapop didn't know what was.

"Now I need one…" Two-Bit put on his, 'Concentration Face,' then all of a sudden remembered he was still in possession of his buddy's Barbie. "Here, Soda." He flung it to the Greaser standing in the doorway, way too terrified to move. The stupid thing hit the side of his head.

Down to this day, Sodapop never figured out why he picked that ugly Barbie off the floor. And then why he adjusted her skirt. He held "Sandy" to his face and studied her carefully. For a Barbie, she didn't look all that bad. For a Barbie.

"I fooooound you, Kathy!" Two-Bit squealed. He hugged an almost identical-looking doll to the side of his face. "Wait…how are we supposed to tell these ladies apart?" With that, he magically produced his trusty handy dandy faithful blade and slashed more than half of Kathy's shiny blonde 'doo. "'Kay,' he said, "she's mine, aaaand she's yours."

"Savvy," said Sodapop.

"'Kay!" Two-Bit was on his feet, furiously glancing around for something the younger greaser wasn't sure about. "'Kay," he repeated. He marched up to the top drawer of Kendra's dresser and yanked it open, revealing his little sister's pajamas and the odd lost sock. He grabbed two armfuls and carelessly threw them until they were a limp pile in the corner.

"This," said Two-Bit, tossing Kathy into the empty drawer, "this is my house." He looked expectantly towards Soda. When Soda didn't do a thing, he said, "Well, I've done everythin' for you up 'till now. So go!" He shoved his friend's shoulder. "Sandy needs some place to live!"

"Yeah," Soda oddly found himself agreeing. Of course that made sense. "Okay, I'll go find her a house or somethin'." He took some steps forward, deciding to build his Barbie girlfriend a home in one of the kitchen's empty cookie jars. It was fairly large, so if he bended all of Sandy's limbs inwards she could fit somewhat comfortably. "There you go, Sandy," he found himself muttering.