Sorry guys. Look who's back!
A lot has happened. Like a lot. I've been working on getting my life together but I know I've been right on the edge of making it through and completely falling apart, and I'm scared I'm starting to lose it.
I've learned a lot of things about myself though. For example, I noticed I lay down and take all the hurt someone has to give me and let it destroy me because I'd rather do that then see them hurt. It's a problem I'm trying to work on. But I also noticed some stuff, about myself and other people.
There's a difference between someone who's fucked up and trying to get better then someone who's stuck in their own misery, dragging others in their downward spiral and making no attempt to realize that it doesn't have to be like that forever. They can get out, it's always possible.
I understand, I've been there. I've been there way too many times then I like to admit. But there comes a point when you just can't be there for others when you're wrapped up in your misery like that. Your friends can only deal with that for so long, and eventually you gotta realize that you can't do whatever the fuck you want and expect people to be there because "they're suppose to care."
I know we have problems. And that's never going to stop. And it won't ever stop me from caring, but I've known people who are fucked up beyond belief and are still able to be there for others, not just hurting people and blaming it on their depression and "the way they are." There has to be some attempt, no matter how small, to try to get better.
And it's okay to keep falling down, but there has to be that realization that's there's more important things then your mental illness and issues, and blaming it on the past instead of looking towards the future won't help you.
We're all struggling. You can't just tell people "you don't understand," push them away, and then say no one cares about you. Because one day you'll wake up and everyone will be gone because they're working toward their own recover, while you stayed stuck and pushed them away. You'll wallow in self pity and wonder why everyone leaves, when really it was yourself the entire time.
Being happy is a possibility. Realize it.
Aaannnd so ends the long rant. We'll see if anyone is reading this anymore, but until next time peeps ✌️
