Fairy Dust and Jazz

thirty

Chapter thirty

Everything Has Changed

‘You’ll be mine

and I’ll be yours.’

December 25th to 31st 2013

Dear Sama,

Know that feeling before you go bungee jumping? Or sky diving?

I feel like that every time I’m near him and... How do I tell him how I feel about him? We’re best friends and I’ve loved him forever, since I was in the third standard.

Hopelessly-in-love

Dear hopelessly-in-love,

Scream it from the rooftops. Write it on the bathroom mirror in his favourite colour. Write him love notes and make it all too romantic because if you’ve loved him that long, there’s a chance he’s loved you, too.

And if he hasn’t loved you, even if he’s never known your existence, he will when you’ve made sure to show him just how long you’ve spent waiting for him to see.

When he sees, it will be perfect, and his heart will know what you’ve known all along, that you belong together. That it’s the two of you against the rest of the world.

Be brave. That’s the moral of the story. Spend the rest of your life teaching him that, if he doesn’t see. Spend all of eternity making him see because it will be worth it. Love is always worth it.

I spent the entire night trying to avoid the cliché of saying ‘yes’ when the man you love, the only one that really ever mattered, has a ring in his pocket.

It was an accident, really. He came by, threw his jacket wherever he felt like it and softly climbed into bed with me. He didn’t touch the covers. He didn’t touch my hair. He was... just there, like I’d been begging him to be.

I felt like such an idiot when I woke up in the morning with the worst headache. Lal had been texting on and off about the case and while I had complete faith in him, I wanted my faith in humanity restored a little quicker than at the pace of snail’s. Looking over to Nathan now made me think of my failed marriage, one that had been a failure ever since the very root. My ex-husband and I never shared a bed like it was a sacred act, like he would lose me once morning came. Eyes closed, face perturbed, he looked troubled. He was clearly dreaming. If I wasn’t so hopelessly in love, I’d have called him the most beautiful person I had ever known. My arms went to lie on his chest and I stared openly into his closed lids, kissing the soft of his nose as he wrinkled it. It made me laugh. Why did he have to be such a boy behind all that brilliant wisdom?

There went my phone early in the morning. I sent in my latest column to Priya and I knew she’d be unhappy with it. All ready to ignore the call, I sighed softly as I pushed the covers and ran to my phone to shut it off. It was Lal, calling me at six in the morning.

“What happened?” I whispered as I eyed the ring box on the ground, next to the black coat. I walked over to it, picked it up, and against all my better judgment opened it to check, to know for sure. I shut the box as it blinded me.

Yup. That was an engagement ring alright.

“It’s done. He’s signed the papers. He’s agreed to the terms and the amount.”