Fairy Dust and Jazz

six

Chapter six

Kiss Me

‘So, kiss me.’

As much as some logical part of me screamed for me to do the sensible thing: keep Nathaniel at a distance, I didn’t. Rather, I couldn’t. It was as if everything had come together and finally, finally, my existence didn’t seem boring or meaningless.

Sometimes I think I over embellished how much this one boy had become to me, and with his perfections and imperfections had managed to completely take me in and have every part of me convinced. If I were any other girl, I’d think I was crazy for caring about him this much. Hell, even I knew I was crazy for jumping into this head first.

Was it utterly selfish to say that I felt alive, for the first time in my life, even though I have a family that loves me and maybe some friends who would care if I died right his second?

He texted me all the time and this was counting the times we weren’t chatting away on the phone: during class, while I washed my hair, while I tried to eat dinner, while I tried to study. Refusing to leave me be, even for a second of the day, he talked about everything under the sky with me. It made me wonder how many friends he had, how many girls he did this with. I won’t lie, it both excited and terrified me to share this much of myself with someone else. The prospect of someone besides myself being interested in things I cared about, the fact that Nathan was a boy, made this so much better. It was only a week into our relationship, friendship, call it whatever, and I was dangerously head over heels.

Do you like the rain? He asked, just as it began to drizzle outside, the silent pitter-patter of the slow drops now trailing against the sole window in the room. I realized that we’d come to that point where I knew him enough to know what his words sounded like coming from him.

I love the rain. 

It never stopped at one question and sometimes, suddenly, it did. Today, though, was not that day.

Do you like fruit?

I adore fruit. I love mangoes.

Two seconds later, I asked him the same question.

I like fruit in my alcohol. Does that count?

Before I could tell him that it didn’t, he called me to a concert all the way on the Mysore highway. I’d never make it back on time for curfew at the hostel, so I rejected him politely. It was already six. How would I make it back by eleven?

“So stay with me,” he pleaded me quietly.

The idea was insane and it completely threw me off guard. My parents would kill me if they knew. Sakshi, now a ripe budding teenager, would only think of behaviour as enabling her own juvenile tendencies. But of course, even though I knew all the cons, I focused on the one pro, and that was Nathaniel and his sweet, sweet smile.

“I...”

“I’m not asking for much here, Sama. Just a night. We’ll be out in public with my friends.”

It was true. It was all true. But who knew what could happen? I declined once again, and this time I knew he’d be upset. He wasn’t asking over and over so I could say no, was he? As I’d known already, I was right. His voice was sullen and somewhat groggy. He was angry.

“I’m sorry.” I repeated my apology.

“It’s alright, girl. I’ll see you next time.”