Fairy Dust and Jazz

twenty nine

Chapter twenty nine

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough

‘Just call my name

I’ll be there in a hurry.

You don’t have to worry.’

December 2013

Nathaniel

The thing about losing someone was being left with the memory of them and nothing more. Every time I thought about Sama, even now, I still saw the young teen that still wore plaits and kurtas and had no other worldly exposure whatsoever. Then, morning would come and I would be confronted with the exact contradiction. Meek and effortless Sama would be replaced by the Sama dancing by the buffet line as she listened to something on her headphones while she took a plateful of whatever she liked. She smiled without reason and all the time, and I wondered on more than one occasion if the reason behind that smile was me. She’d pull me to dance with her when it rained, she pulled me dance in my office as the staff passed by the open door. Whether or not I loved the old Sama, whether or not I loved the new one, I hated what she’d been through to become this person. She wore sarees most of the times and others wore outfits I’d never have imagined her wearing before. She swore around her parents openly, and other people, as she lost to a game of four-in-a-row against a random stranger, a customer who left the room complaining to the staff about ill-mannered teenagers.

Yet her eyes held my gaze just as bravely as she lost a game of chess, her dark, sweet eyes seeing through my moves but not attempting to beat me at my own game. She wasn’t any good at focusing, nor was she any good at being a sport while losing, but her smile at the end of it made up for everything. She smiled as if anything in the world was fixable, as her cheeks would hold it all together and her small, round face made me smile even when she wasn’t around.

“You smile like a princess in love.”

“You smile like you know a princess in love, sunshine.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Manny was long gone so the only person who shared my jokes was Siri. And I loved her more than I ever had. There wasn’t a part of me that wouldn’t have loved every part of her.

Sakshi left me alone for the first two weeks but finally warmed up over a swim. We chatted about books and girls and she grilled me on her sister quite shamelessly.

“You know she’s, like, loved you since the big bang.”

“Really? That long?”

A warm blast of sun made its way over to this end of pool as we lounged lazily by the clear water, a little after six in the morning now. I never liked waking up this early but after things at the club worked out; early morning shifts were an everyday occasion.

“Longer. It’s like she’s been waiting to fall in love with some sap like you.”

“I resent that.”

“You don’t think you’re sappy and lovey-dovey and in love with my sister?”

“Well,” when she put it like that, “of course, but not in the weird sexless way you’ve put it out.”

“Oh, please. You’ve been pathetic about it since day one.”

“Have I?” I didn’t think I was that obvious. Sure, you’d be interested, too, if someone openly dissed your music and thought you had red lips.

“You’re both real idiots. I’m going to eat. Coming?”

“I thought we ought to wait for your family.”