Fairy Dust and Jazz

fourteen

Chapter fourteen

Fall For You

‘I may have failed

But I’ve loved you

From the start.’

Days went by before the next weekend pushed around and we met at his next gig at Taj. I knew it was a big deal, since it was the Taj. They’d be paid a load of money for singing acoustic music and unlike at the other concerts, only Vineeth and Nathan were at the lobby waiting for me with their equipment.

I wore my best Kurti wondering if this was a let-your-hair-down moment or not. I’d plaited it to the side and done my eyes the best way I could. Lips nude and ears with studs, I hugged Nathan and wished him luck.

“I’m going to need it.” He told me in that familiar slurry way, a way he’d promised was long forgotten, a habit I thought he’d curbed.

The words were on the tip of my tongue. I knew I could’ve asked whatever I wanted and gotten an honest answer. I could’ve asked as I trailed them to the restaurant, their heads bobbing nervously about as they set up for the party. It looked like a company party, but it had potential, and I dashed to the loo to make a call.

“Rupa?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to come down here? I’m with Nathan for a concert.”

“Okay. Sure...” she looked like she was searching for something. “Tell me where you are.”

An hour later, exactly after ten songs, Rupa made her way over to my lonely table, iced tea and me. I couldn’t afford anything more than a tea, but I didn’t want a hot tea, so I ordered for this.

“What’s this?”

“Dinner.” I told her sulkily. “He’s stoned.”

“Who?”

“Nathan.”

“Oh,” she turned around to look at him playing the keyboard then. “God, he’s so adorable.” She turned to look at me. “Are you together now?”

“I don’t know.”

“He’s so yummy.” She hummed as she took a seat and gestured for a menu card. “Please let there be a continental menu, too.”

“You’re ordering dinner here? It’s all too expensive.”

“I’m buying,” she waved her hand, as if to say it didn’t matter. Even that didn’t cheer me up, having the chance to eat dinner at Taj. “Order whatever you want.”

I ordered for a martini and naans and a curry. Rupa thought I was being stupid for asking for the paneer instead of the chicken, but my mouth was watering for something creamy. I hated that he was stoned again, and I knew what I had to do at the end of the night. Not wanting to cause a scene, I sat there sulking in my own muck of thoughts as Nathan finally wrapped up for the night.

“You’re high.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I just... can’t sing without getting high.”

A feeling of despair stabbed a hole in my balloon of anger. “Why not?”

“I’m afraid of facing people. It’s a long story. I just... it’s been a while since I could sing in public.”

“Then why do you keep doing it?”

He looked so dead tired on his feet, standing there without his jacket. We grabbed his things, sat in Rupa’s car and ate the leftovers. The girl was so sweet for letting us crash at her place after I announced that I didn’t want to go back to the hostel. We snuggled all night long right after Nathan kissed the side of my neck. It was the best since that kiss at the club all those days ago, and I was happy with it. I never thought any of this would be easy. I didn’t kid myself on my worst days.