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Accepting Criticism: Take 2

I have already written a chapter on accepting criticism, but one thing I noticed I failed to do in that chapter was actually explain how someone can accept criticism. In fact, most of the chapter was dedicated to providing a story that could help authors identify when they aren't accepting criticism. The final verdict seemed to be that in the face of criticism, just accept it (Plus, there was a discussion about how accepting criticism isn't the same as using criticism).

However, that's considerably easier said than done, because criticism is hard. It digs deep into your psychy, makes you feel worse, and doesn't seem to let go. It's nice just to say that you need to have more self-confidence, but self-confidence doesn't grow on trees, so it's kind of silly to say this. You don't have self-confidence. If you did, then you wouldn't need to be worrying about accepting criticism. You'd already be unabashedly putting your work out there, naked, with a sombrero on your head. No? Just me? Okay then.

My naked sombrero needs aside, accepting criticism requires putting aside your pride, swallowing your self-doubts, and working towards improving your work. To achieve this goal, and in typical fashion with my other chapters, here is another list on five techniques you can use to receive and handle the criticism thrown at you.

Remind Yourself That They Are Criticizing Your Work, Not You

This is my first and biggest piece of advice. I originally had thought to base an entire chapter on this subject alone, but took a step back and decided to try to offer a little more. Most critiques you deal with don't know who you are. This is a fact of life. They don't know your personality. So, when they provide criticism, that criticism is focused on the thing they know. The only thing they know is the work you put out. Ergo, the only thing they are criticizing is the work you put out.

This should go without saying that when someone puts a comment on your work, that they are talking only about your work. But let's say they do make an insult aimed at you. They likely don't know you. They are responding to your material with a personal attack, but ultimately, it's the material they have a problem with. So even then, they are criticizing the work, not you. This does not mean I'm suggesting it's okay to attack people personally, but when you are attacked on a personal level, well... don't take it personally.

I think this is a lesson that even accomplished actors, politicians, and directors need to understand. Even famous names like Steven Spielberg is a person who 99.9% of the ones consuming his work do not know him on any personal level. I don't know what he's like. I don't know his kids. I don't even know how he is as a director. All I know is the end product that I consumed.

Now, people will attack Spielberg when he makes a bad movie. But how quickly does the audience change its tune when he makes a good movie? A better example perhaps would be M. Night Shyamalan. He created the Sixth Sense, and it lead people to having very high expectations for him as a director. He made an okay film with Unbreakable, and then his films slowly went to crap.

People were enraged, how could this "great" director make all these not great films. People started to notice his trends. His angle uses. His tendency to always have a twist. He was attacked relentlessly. So relentlessly he even created a film where his would-be film critics act pompously and are the only character to die in the end. But, now he's making good films again. The last few on his list, The Visit... Split... they've been considered decent movies.

And none of that speaks to who M. Night Shyamalan is as a person. He might be a great father. Is he even a father? He might be a fun director. A funny guy. None of this is known. The only thing we know about him is the content he's created. Thus, when someone criticizes him, the only thing they are criticizing is a small aspect of his personality.