At age 5, I invented peas and mashed potatoes. Prior to this event, people ate their peas willynilly. They were all over the place. It was mass hysteria. So I said to my mom, I said, "Why don't you just stick that shit in mashed potatoes?" to which she replied, "Stop swearing! And take your hands out of your pants!" I chose to do neither.
After that, I went to college, where I experimented with my sexuality. Sometimes as a man, sometimes as a woman, sometimes as Tyrannosaurus Rex. Sexsasaurus Rex, that's what they called me... until the day I went mysteriously missing.
Where I went from there? Nobody knows. Perhaps I wondered from town to town, fixing the wrongs of the world. Perhaps I discovered porn on the internet and spent years locked in my room, writing erotic fan fiction.
Either way, one day I was found, naked, hanging from a tree, in the Northern Canadian Jungle. I lept from that tree, and crawled sixty miles back to civilization, battling dire cobras, dire bears, and dire wolves all along the way. When I finally made it into a local Holiday Inn, I'll never forget the first words that they said to me. "Why are you naked?...Eh?"
From there, I returned to civilization, and after a brief stint in jail for regicide, I got an account on Wattpad. And thus I decided to start writing books, and you know the rest.
- Ohio
- JoinedAugust 7, 2013
- website: whatsawhizzer.wordpress.com/
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Hey guys. Just an FYI. I put up a new cover to Hawtness I think was more fitting to it's theme. Yes, it's custom illustrated. Those are the characters. Also, decided to throw final volume on here...View all Conversations
Stories by Whatsawhizzer
- 5 Published Stories

Wattpad 101: Your guide to the wor...
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So you just started an account... Or maybe you've been here a while and you just aren't getting a feel for th...

Hawtness
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Vampires, Angels, and Demons, Oh My! Jane's life will never be the same when she stumbles onto Hawtness, the...

Every Book Ever Written
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I started these in my Wattpad 101 as a joke chapter that showcases all the cliches among various genres. I st...