dear sam

58 11 0
                                    

dear sam,how the hell did you ever pick mehonestlyof all the peopleyou chose the suicidal head casethe freakwho steals lines from songsbecause she can't describewhatevergoes throughher headconstantly doubting my sanitywhy would youwillinglytangle ...

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dear sam,
how the hell did you ever pick me
honestly
of all the people
you chose the suicidal head case
the freak
who steals lines from songs
because she can't describe
whatever
goes through
her head
constantly doubting my sanity
why would you
willingly
tangle yourself up
in my mess of a life
you deserve much more
than i could ever offer
so why do i try
you wouldn't lie to me
right?
do you care about me?
why did you pick me?
do you like me at all?
maybe it is
a lie
after all, you're smart
pretty
have a nice voice
confident
maybe i'm just the only option
i can't stop
these thoughts
why did i promise them
not to hurt myself
why
am
i
such
a
FREAK
normal people don't even
think
about hurting themselves
why can't i just be
a nice muslim girl
who doesn't listen to music
who loves herself
who is social
who doesn't get crushes
who will marry a nice muslim boy
when she's twenty six
and give her parents grandchildren
but no
i had to be 'special'
i had to be the gay little emo freak
who can't talk to people
and has panic attacks when asked
to order
a fucking
ice cream
why can't i just die

celeste • poetryWhere stories live. Discover now