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dear sam, how the hell did you ever pick me honestly of all the people you chose the suicidal head case the freak who steals lines from songs because she can't describe whatever goes through her head constantly doubting my sanity why would you willingly tangle yourself up in my mess of a life you deserve much more than i could ever offer so why do i try you wouldn't lie to me right? do you care about me? why did you pick me? do you like me at all? maybe it is a lie after all, you're smart pretty have a nice voice confident maybe i'm just the only option i can't stop these thoughts why did i promise them not to hurt myself why am i such a FREAK normal people don't even think about hurting themselves why can't i just be a nice muslim girl who doesn't listen to music who loves herself who is social who doesn't get crushes who will marry a nice muslim boy when she's twenty six and give her parents grandchildren but no i had to be 'special' i had to be the gay little emo freak who can't talk to people and has panic attacks when asked to order a fucking ice cream why can't i just die
