Only Skin

Chapter 9

Day three of my father's absence had approached, and it was decently nice to actually enjoy a day away from all of the work and expectations that were thrusted upon me. I decided to head out to the gazebo to write some more, but I was secretly hoping Rose would make an appearance. Placing my things down and getting comfortable on the steps, I noticed I spent more time thinking about Rose than actually thinking about the subject at hand. At that exact moment, footsteps approached me and my sitting, and I knew it was Rose.

I remained with my back turned to her, though I'm not quite sure as to why. Resentment? No, I had nothing to resent against. Anger? Whatever for? Sadness? Not quite...

"Jealous?" There it was. Rose sat down onto the step next to I, reminding me of the time we first held hands together. Her skirt brushed up against my leg, sending me a warm shock throughout my body. "I'm not jealous, Rosemary" I added with a slight laugh. She rolled her eyes at me, elbowing me slightly while doing so. "I'm sorry about what happened with my kin." "It's quite alright. But, Rose?" I asked her. "Yeah?" It took me a moment to compose myself, but when I finally was able to, I spoke "What is Caleb to you?"

Rose let out a deep sigh, pausing a while before answering my question. "I don't love him, if that's what ya' askin'." When Rose spoke, a wave of relief washed over me, followed my a bombardment of questions; why exactly did I find comfort at the fact Rose was not in love with Caleb? Why wasn't she in love with him? What could this mean for her and I? 

I decided to ignore my thoughts, and shoved them away into the back of my mind, so I would pay attention to them no further. "Uncle Jay wants us to marry, but I simply don't love him. Jay was just my Pa's friend, not his real brotha', ya see. And Caleb is Jay's son. Since birth, my momma raised Caleb and me like brotha' and sista'. I couldn't imagine him anything more than that." Rose said. The relief started coming back again, as Rose continued with a heavy breath. "Ever since my pa was taken, Uncle took control ova' my life. I ain't have nothin' to look forward to anymo' after Pa left, so that's why I started comin' out here, to be honest. I wasn't happy." ending with a sigh, Rose reached over for my hand, gliding her's over my knuckles. I grasped it like a lifeline, caressing my thumb against her palm.

Her dark skin seemed to stop when it came down to the underside of her hand, and when we held them next to each other, my hand and hers were the same color. I would have thought this realization would have made a difference to me, maybe make me feel less 'guilty' for being so close to this dark-skinned woman; but it didn't. For some reason, it made me feel less easy. My stomach began to churn at the thought of seeing two fully pale hands next to one another, reminding me of Charolette. I despised that woman, and wanted no more than her to be gone from my life. "I would rather be here forever, with you Rose than be anywhere else." I said unknowingly out loud. I didn't give her time to say anything, as I called out her name. "Rose..." "Yes, Henry?" I let out a deep sigh before answering, contemplating for a moment if I really should ask my question.

Before I knew it, my mouth was open and I was asking Rose, "May I kiss you?", and her only reply was closing the gap in between us with a kiss. Her plump lips rubbed up against mine, ever so gently, as I reached up with my available hand to her face, cupping it greedily. I couldn't begin to describe how long we stayed here, because to me, this moment lasted a lifetime. I wanted nothing more than to be here with her forever. In my mind, thoughts of what my father would think, or Caleb, or Charolette, or anything else no longer had meaning. I knew now that I was in love with the woman I was kissing so entirely with my heart.

I was in love with Rose.

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The next morning, I awoke in my bed, still tasting and smelling her. My memory was fuzzy, and my head was pounding. I noticed a half-empty bottle of liquor on my nightstand next to me, and was able to connect one and two together. I quickly dressed, and ran downstairs to put the liquor back in its place, while trying to recall the events of last night. Nothing was coming to me, so I decided to check my journal. Sure enough, I had written down the events that happened. Describing them so perfectly, I could feel the exact emotions I felt the night before:

Our lips were sealed together for what seemed to be an eternity. I could feel our heartbeats in sync with one another, before I pulled away. Moving my hands to the back of her neck, and pushing our foreheads together, I went and said "Rose. I love you." She pushed my head back up and kissed me again for a moment, releasing from the kiss to reply " I love you too, Henry." We had one final kiss before departing from our spot under the gazebo. I walked Rose as far as I could to her place before being spotted, and we sealed our goodbyes with an embrace and a kiss from me on her head.

Thats when I remembered the rest of the night, of me coming home and taking out one of my father's expensive alcohol from its cabinet and drinking it for an act of celebration. Though my head regretted the drinking in the morning, my heart had never felt so alive before. I had never felt so alive before in my life.