Only Skin

Chapter 5

I had been meeting with Rose for a week now. She told me that it was safe to come outside on the weekdays of Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so we met there each night. On the off nights when we could not meet, my heart was torn. Rose was the only person I truly felt comfortable talking to. She understood me, and never judged me for my background. I felt as if we were friends, and I liked that very much.

Today was the day I was going to have a talk with Charolette. As I awoke, Thomas had come up to remind me to dress in my finest. I followed his instructions, despite my persistence against such. After I dressed, Thomas came back up once more and led me to breakfast. I expected to only see the usual company, Father, his wife, and a few servants. However, we had three extra guests at our table: Mr. Carson, his lovely wife, and his daughter. God, I wish these people would leave me alone.

"Good afternoon, Mr. and Madame Carson. Excuse me if I'm just, but I was under the impression that you would all be arriving for dinner?" As Robert got ready to answer, I made my way to my seat at the dinner table. Conveniently, I was seated next to Charolette. How lovely.

"Well, Henry. Your father invited us to come a little earlier than planned. And here we are." "I was thinking, Robert,"
My father began. "That we could play a game of hombre (cards) while Henry and Charolette spend some time together." Dolly and some other servants came by and served the food on the table. While I was speaking, I moved my arms to give them room for plating. "Excuse me, sirs, but would it not be more appropriate if Charolette and I had a chaperone?" My father nearly brushed if off and replied "Oh non sense. You do not need to toil with that 'chaperone' business. I trust you both to be responsible. Don't you agree, Robert?" Robert only laughed the response out "I agree."

We said our prayers and began to eat away. The dinner was filled mostly by remarks from Robert and Father. Sometimes, Elizabeth and Sharon would speak a few dainty words as a lady was told to.

Because I was zoned out the entire time, I did not speak, nor pay attention to what everyone was saying. Before I knew it, dinner was over, and it was time to spend quality time with Charolette. I got up and helped her out of her seat, taking her hand delicately. "Your father mentioned something about a gazebo?" She asked. "Yes we have one, but I do not think it would be appealing to you. Would you not rather sit inside and have tea?" I desperately tried to convince. I did not want Rose to think I was betraying our so secret spot.

Despite my persistence, we wound up outside, sitting on a bench under the gazebo. "How lovely." Charolette beamed as she closed her parasol and set it beside her. "So. Tell me a little bit about yourself, Miss. Carson." Was my lousy attempt at conversation starting. "For starters, Charolette will do. I was born and raised here in this tiny town. My parents own the plantation 'Yellow Pasture' out by the meadows." As she went on describing herself and the life that followed, I could not help but feel a certain emptiness inside. I longed to be sitting here with another girl, a certain Rose.

I said a few "Ah"s and added a few nods in to look like I was paying attention in this mess. Suddenly, she stopped and said "Your turn." "Oh." I began. "Well. I am 19 and- wait how old did you say you are?" I asked. "Oh I am 17." She replied so calmly. How?! "And you're okay with being married at such a young age?!" I said a little too boldly. She replied, taken aback by my response "why of course I am. If this is what my parents think is best."

Just as I was about to talk, someone spoke before me. "Pardon me, Madame an' Henry," my dear Rose began "but I have to garden here. I hope you don't mind my presence-" "You can garden whenever you please. Leave now. We are in the midst of conversing. And in sir Henry's presence, you are to address him as Master or sir only. Do you understand?" I stood up and backed away in awe struck. "How dare you speak to her that way?" My voice was something so harsh and defensive; I've never heard it change like that before. Is it possible to scare oneself?

"Why does it matter to you? She's just a n*****." Charolette defended back. "She has a name! Use it! 'Tis Rose!" I yelled. "Here, people are allowed to call me whatever they want to. If you dare disrespect Rose or any of my housekeepers again I will end this courtship. Am I or am I not clear?" My foot was down. I was not going to back down like I did with my father. I took advantage of the poor girl, put all of my pain onto her, and yet, I felt not an inch of regret after doing so.

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"Back so soon?" Charolette and I were approached by Robert and Father, the apparent dynamic duo, in the entryway from the gazebo. We head back inside after our argument. Even though this argument could have put every thing on the line, I was not scared. I knew Charolette would not betray her family by ending this courtship, nor would she speak out against it.

I felt bad for her, for being brought up to be weak. "Yes," Charolette answered for me "You have a lovely home, Mr. Williams. I enjoyed spending the day in its presence." "Why thank you," he went on "But I hope that you enjoyed being in my sons' presence as well?" It took an uncomfortable string of silence until Charolette answered. "Yes. You raised an amazing young man." She turned to her father and continued saying "I believe it's time to head home. I mustn't miss my nap."

As Robert and his family left our home, I attempted to head to my room and was on my third step when my father outstretched his hand and clutched my arm tightly. "How was your evening with Miss Charolette?" In my most cold voice possible, I replied with "She's absolutely ravishing, Dad."