Conquering The Darkness

Chapter Twelve

Everyone eyes Lorna somberly at their table that evening during dinner. The stares make her feel uncomfortable, she keeps her head down in order to hide herself from them. She understands they mean well and all but she's never been one to like having any amount of attention on herself – especially if it's pity. Being pitied is her pet peeve and is why she hates letting others in on her problems.

Sitting beside her, Nicky can sense her uneasiness. She wraps her arm protectively around her shoulder and gives a look to the other three women who occupy their table. "What's the weather like? Any of ya gone outside today?" She casually questions, stroking Lorna's back while staring at the others expectantly.

"I took my usual run this morning; it's gorgeous out there," Yoga Jones warmly responds, nodding her head while she speaks. She tries not to linger her eyes on the brunette next to Nicky—that's probably the last thing the girl wants. "Spring must be finally arriving. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining—it's amazing."

Tricia nods next to her while taking a bite of runny mashed potato. "Oh yeah, it's real warm out today. I saw Red out ere' looking to be startin' a garden of some sort. Must be spring for sure."

"Me and my mom planted a garden every spring when I's in grade-school. One of my favorite memories growin' up," Lorna's voice quietly speaks up—bringing a silence over their table. She keeps her eyes down on her food as she mindlessly shoves a spoonful into her mouth. "Ya know I ain't gonna fall apart if ya stop starin' at me. I ain't a baby or nothin'; I don't needa constantly be watched!" Anger rises in her, she stabs her spoon harshly around her food.

Nicky sighs and strokes her back comfortingly. "Lorna, no one thinks that way of you...We're all just tryna look out for ya and make sure you're okay. We care about ya, kid; we wanna help ya through this. Calm down, yeah?" She peers softly down at the shorter woman, dropping a soothing kiss to her head.

"I am calm," Lorna mumbles before shoving a bite of mashed potatoes in her mouth. "And I am fuckin' okay—as okay as okay can get! None a ya needa worry bout' me; I'm the most okay person here!" She yells, harshly grabbing her half-eaten tray of food and running her way out of there.

Nicky walks through the halls, looking for the petite inmate. The sound of stuff being thrown around and frustrated groaning catches her attention. She turns to follow where it's coming from and gets a glimpse of Lorna angrily trashing her own belongings in her cube. Fastening her pace, she hurries to the cube—grabbing the brunette before she can ruin anything else.

"What's the matter? Why ya so upset, kid?" She wraps her arms snuggly around her, peering down to her eyes with concern. Her hands run up and down her back in soothing circles. "Looks like a damn tornado flew through here, Lorna."

Folding her arms over her chest, Lorna stares up at the older inmate with a defiant expression. "I'm fine!" She hisses, slamming her fists roughly onto her mattress.

Staring sternly down at her, Nicky shakes her head. She can easily sense the anger and pain her friend is feeling. And there is absolutely no way she will let that slide. "Yeah, is that why ya tore apart all your stuff? Ya ain't fine, kid, and ya ain't foolin' me. Tell me what's wrong. For real, Lorna. I'm not fucking leaving this alone until ya tell me," her voice firmly commands as she keep a tight hold on the younger woman.

"I just—nothing; never mind," Lorna sighs in defeat, looking away from the other.

"Come on baby, tell me what's bothering ya. It's okay; you can tell me whatever it is. I wanna help ya and take care of ya," Nicky softly reassures her. Her arms pull the other closer and she presses a comforting kiss to her head.

Lorna lets out a deep breath. "It just – it really sucks; it fucking sucks so much! Everything fucking sucks—I just wanna be home with my family right now but I can't be! I hate this place it's ruined my life, for real...everything's just went down the fucking drain since I've been thrown in here." She angrily cries out, slamming her fist into her pillow.