Exit Wounds | The Script

No Words

No Willow don't you fucking dare.

I snatch my hand back and put it into my lap again. What the hell was I thinking? I can't answer it. I can't. Just leave it. After twenty three rings the phone stops and I breathe a sigh of relief. Everything's okay now, he's gone. My heart flutters like a trapped bird, the bird wants to escape, to find someone, to find someone? Who? It wants to find Him.

Just stop it.

But I can't stop it. I wish I could but I can't. I just can't. Every single thought which goes through my mind is always stained with memories. Memories of him and of me. Together. The fucking past. Why can't I escape it? The last time we spoke face to face, we said we would stay friends. Friends? That doesn't mean anything. So it didn't happen. After that we didn't talk much. Well we stopped talking. I couldn't. It pained me too much. How can we stay friends when every single part of me is wanting to say 'I love you' but is forced back like a metal barrier because those words are not allowed. They're not allowed? Why do I keep thinking that?

"There is no 'not allowed' little sis'"

Noah's voice drifts through my head like a misty fog. I can't stop replaying what he said to me. Over and over again.

"Don't let the past influence the present Willow"

I slump forwards so my head is resting on my hands. I'm drained. So so tired... Why can't I go to sleep? Why can't I just leave the world.. I need to escape. I don't know even what to do anymore.. Where even to begin..

I flutter my eyes closed and let my conscience wash over me. What do I need do with myself to wake myself up from this nightmare. I need energy. Where can you get energy from? Fuck this.

I drag a hand across my face and rub my eyes wearily whilst closing my little diary book shut. It's a nice notebook actually. Embroidered with silvery music notes with a inky black background. I like it. It resembles me. A pit of nothingness with music lighting the way. Charlie bought it for me a few days ago for a leaving present. Yes I left her. Well not left her for good, we are still friends. Best friends I guess... We meet up a lot. She helps me.. Talks to me about stuff. It helps knowing that someone's there for me. But I couldn't exactly stay in her house could I? It wouldn't be fair, and I hate relying on people, I need to be independent. Plus she was busy with her family, she'll be moving back to Bristol soon and then ill would have been stranded. I'm staying with.. well no one actually. I've rented a little rundown flat in the centre of town and done it up over the past few weeks, giving it a lick of paint and some colour. Its okay I suppose. For now. Until things pick itself up.

Who are you waiting for Willow? Things aren't just going to get better by itself, you have to make them.

Just shut up. I know okay. I fucking know. I'm not waiting for anyone. I'm not.

Yes you are Willow. You know who you're waiting for.

Please leave me alone. Please?

I quickly slide my book into my bag and get up to leave to trudge back to an cold empty flat. I click my satchel closed and wrap my scarf around my neck. Its cold today, November winds are beginning to arrive. Winters coming.

Just as I'm about to leave the table, someone pushes open the wide smudged-with-fingerprints glass doors and trudges in. I latch my eyes onto his feet. He is wearing doc martins, black leather ones, laced to the top.

My eyes travel slowly up his legs- tight black skinny jeans.

Like the ones He wears.

He is wearing a black turtleneck, a thick wooly one.

It looks nice to hug, squishy and warm.

My eyes catch onto a stripy scarf, a long one, wrapped around his neck multiple times but it still trails down his back.

I've seen that scarf before...

His hair is sticking up, velvet black hair, unbrushed. His eyes.. well they are black. Black pitless holes indented into his face. They look empty... like mine. Dark smudges circle them and it looks as if he hasn't slept for days. I wonder why?

Even though I'm sitting by the window, about ten tables away from the door, I can tell his lips are chapped, they look crusty and sore. His cheeks are tinted pink, rosy from the coldness from outside. He looks worn, tired, alone.

I try to calm myself down. I know him. Fuck. No. What is he doing? Is it him? It can't be. Yes it's him. Is it? Shit. It's him. Okay calm down, calm the fuck down Willow. Calm. Down. Calm. Down. My mind is instantly spinning, whirring, jumping, running, bounding, skipping. Wait what? No. Im just being stupid. It's not him, it can't be. I try to calm myself down and force myself to believe that I don't know the guy who I love so much standing right before my eyes. It's not him. It's not who I think it is. It's not okay!

But however hard I push myself into forcing myself to think that it isn't him, it doesn't work. Of course it's him. I could pick out his face from a million people, from all of people in the world. Its the face embroidered on my heart, the face I've been longing to see for so long. My heart skips a beat as he searchingly looks around the cafe.

He hasn't seen me yet.

I just stare at the man at the doors, unable to take my mind off him. What's he doing here? Is he looking for me? God. I suddenly realise how much I've missed him. So much. I just want to hug him, smell his almond-like warm smell which I have missed waking up to everyday, wrap my fingers through his velvet hair and press his lips onto mine.

I just sit frozen quite literally in my seat, watching him as he searchingly scans the cafe. He's looking for someone. For me? Of course not. But he's looking for someone. At last his eyes rest on me, his black eyes widen and his mouth drops. He looks at me and I look at him. We're stuck in a moment that we can't get out of, our eyes are cemented onto each others, time just leaves us and it's like we're in our own little bubble, away from reality in a world which I have missed more than I ever imagined.

He strides across the cafe in just a few long steps to my little isolated table where I am sitting alone and sits himself down opposite me.

"Hey," he says.

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A/N

Hey'all

Sorry for the slow update my excuses are basically gcse exam revision and whatever, don't have much time anymore but I had to update.

This is crap I know, I just needed to write it. Meh here you go anyway, sorry if it's not great..

Rose 🍀🍀