Find Your Purpose, Before It's Too Late

Chapter 2

There was a rustling of sound in your room, but you refused to open your eyes. You knew who it was and didn't care. Carol wasn't trying to hide her presence in your space, quite the opposite. She purposely rattled around and made noise as though you were a stubborn teenager she was trying to raise from the depths of sleep.

You heard her yank back the curtains and bright, rigid streaks of light brought the bedroom to life. You grunted and rolled into your pillow, but Carol only pulled the covers off your head.

"Rise and shine!" she sung cheerfully, "Time to get up and be among the living."

"Go away," you grunted and pulled the covers tighter.

"Y/N, you can't do this anymore," Carol said, sitting on the edge of your bed. "It's not healthy. You need to get up and outside. It's time to start helping out around here."

You sighed and reluctantly sat up. "Really, guilt?"

"Someone has to do something," Carol said with a nod to make her point. "No one else wants to deal with you. Even Carl thinks you have an attitude."

"Ugh," you said crashing back to your pillow.

"Look, I know that it's been hard. But," she paused and seemed to reconsider her point. "You have to find a way to press on. We've all lost someone; many someone's. You can get through it if you make up your mind to do so. Being weak isn't an option, especially weak minded."

Carol stood up and gave the covers one final yank. "Now, get up, get dressed and get downstairs. Breakfast is in five minutes."

Making your way into the kitchen, Carol had three bowls of oatmeal sitting on the island counter. She smiled when she saw you shamble into the kitchen. You had done as she asked and gotten dressed into a pair of ripped up jeans, blue tank top and boots. As you grabbed a bowl of the lukewarm oatmeal, you heard voices coming into the kitchen. You turned to see Rick and Daryl walking in amid a conversation.

"Yeah, but I don't really want to have to go that far out if we can help it. Supplies aren't too low yet, but if we don't find something soon it could start to become a dangerous situation." Rick said as he picked up a bowl of the oatmeal.

Carol smiled at them and handed Daryl the last bowl.

"Carl up yet?" Rick asked. "He promised he would be up early to go see Denise this morning, said his wound has been hurting. I want her changing his bandages for a few more days."

"He's there now. Was up and out an hour ago," Carol said and looked directly at you with raised brows. Daryl caught her look directed at you and snorted a laugh. You flipped him the finger and went back to your oatmeal.

"Play nice, kids," Rick said shaking his head. "Carol, when he gets back ask him to look after Judy. I'm taking Daryl and (Y/N) out on a run today."

Your head snapped up and looked at Rick. "Wait, why am I going?"

"Cause, I need you. Everyone else has something happenin' today 'cept you. Daryl and I are heading out to hunt and try to scare up some more supplies. Meds are low and foods getting there too. It's an all-hands-on-deck situation."

You felt your body slump in the chair. A tightness began to grow at the center of your chest at the thought of going beyond the walls. You hadn't stepped foot out there since you arrived in Alexandria and even with the promise of Rick and Daryl at your side, the thought of breaching the walls was terrifying.

Along with the fear, was the anger you still carried. It was mostly directed at yourself for not being strong enough to be a productive survivor. All that happened before the outbreak and then during your time of imprisonment at Grady had left you a barely functional train wreck. Sure, physically you were healthy, but mentally and emotionally, not so much.