High Emotions ; Phan au

Nine

Phil placed his hands on Alex's chest, his head facing down as he clenched his eyes shut trying to hold back the tears, his chest still rising and falling heavily. Phil tried to roll his hips against Alex, but as soon as the friction was there he felt the tears begin to fall

"P-Please stop, this isnt you." Alex swallowed thickly as he screwed his eyes shut. He didn't like this at all. He was the one now feeling uncomfortable. This wasn't the Phil he loved.

"I'm sorry." Phil broke down completely, his guards breaking as he swiftly moved off of Alex and headed towards the bathroom as quickly as he could before he let Alex see his tears

"Phil! Stop!" Alex immediately ran after him. He pushed into the bathroom before Phil could close the door and immediately wrapped his arms tightly around him, letting Phil cry into his chest.

Phil clung onto the security of someone's touch as he sobbed, "I'm sorry Alex, I'm so sorry." Phil cried almost inaudibly

"Shh, it's okay, I'm not mad at you." Alex cooed as he held him protectively like he had countless times before.

"I don't know why I'm like this?" Phil asked himself "I'm sorry I love you." Phil said a she calmed down his tears to light hiccups

"It's okay, I love you even more." He said as he wiped his tears and kissed his cheeks. "Come on, now tell me what's wrong?"

"I probably look so bad right now." Phil said laughing lightly as he met Alex's eyes, "I don't know what's wrong, I don't know why I but I felt so- so - I don't know?" Phil said confused

"It's alright, it's your first time with a guy. I understand." Alex smiled gently and cupped his cheek. "You don't have to feel like you need to have sex with me, okay? I promise it's alright. Please tell me when you feel like anythings wrong, okay?"

"But Alex it's not that I don't want to have sex with you, I mean I really want to but there's just something that's making me feel so insecure? I think that might be it?" Phil said letting out a shaky breath

"What's making you insecure?" He asked gently. He led Phil outside so they could sit on the couch and talk.

"I don't know." Phil said sighing heavily "it can't even be that I don't trust you or anything because I trust you with the world."

"It's okay, we'll figure it out, till then we can just cuddle and kiss, okay?" Alex smiled and hugged him close as they were lay on the couch

"Please." Phil said with a sleepy tone, wrapping his leg so that it was on top of Alex's torso

Alex smiled and pulled phil close against him, kissing his head as he held him close. He shut his eyes too and rubbed up and down his back gently.

Phil flicked his head up to check Alex was asleep before smiling softly "what did I do to deserve you?" Phil asked softly, going to stroke Alex's cheek before moving his hand away and placing his head back down

The next day, Dan was feeling a lot better in the hospital. He felt nice and he could actually talk after some water. And his doctor's had said Dan could finally have his first meal. But, dan insisted that they wait for Phil to get here first. He wanted to show Phil how much better he'd gotten! But for some reason, phil didn't show up. It was visiting hours and Phil was always here. Dan pouted and waited. Maybe he was just late? He waited and waited but he didn't come. Two hours more and visiting hours would end. Dan pushed his food away and curled up under his hospital blanket, feeling small and sad.