Thats only the half of it. (TFP story)

Chapter 6 - I'm alone again.

I didn't recharge at all that night. I laid in Charger all night. I didn't have the energy to walk up to my room. Especially after Wheeljack left. I'll admit. I'm sad that he left. I didn't want him to leave. I just laid back against the leather seats. Staring at the ceiling. Now things will go back to normal around here. Until the next broken cybertronian comes along. It's now 3 in the morning. I sigh and decide to get up. I think I'll do a patrol of my property. I get out and open up the shop doors. I get back in and start up Charger. I back out and we start off to the out ridge of the property and drive. Just checking that everything is in order.

I spent about an hour or two of patrolling my property. Now I'm back at my shop. Checking my scanners and anything else to to keep me busy. Now that I'm alone again. I didn't realize how alone I really felt. I feel so empty. I lean back in my chair, put my hands behind my head and stare up at the ceiling. What am I gonna do now? Oh I know what I can do. I should check my energon supply. Though I make synthetic energon. So I'm not to worried about my supply. I get up and walk to the back of my shop. I flick a switch near the back corner. Up comes a cylinder. Almost like an elevator. I walk in and press another switch to take me down. It takes me to the bottom floor or basement you could call it. It's dark. The only light you see is the glow from the energon. I turn on the light and take a walk though, checking all my equipment. Checking the computers, making sure everything is in order. Which if course it is. I have never shown this place to anyone. Even when somebot has needed energon, I make sure they are asleep before I go and get some for them. Usually they are passed out from whatever had happened to them. You can't detect it either. I have a cloaking device protecting it. Even though I have my shields cover. I take extra measures to protect my energon. And I'm not exactly ready to tell other cybertronians how I was able to create it.

I go back up the elevator. I slowly make my way out and look across the room. I don't know what to do now. Usually when they leave. I just go back to my normal way of life. I don't usually get to know them. Or even take a liking to them. I try not to. But now. Now I don't know if I can go back to normal. I walk up the stairs and sit on the couch. "He's never gonna come back. Like everyone else." I say aloud. I need to realize that. "Promises are made to be broken." I've been alone so long that it's hard to believe in promises. They are never kept. Never. I can't help but feel like I was designed to be alone.

I decide to grab a book and read. I learned how to read English centuries ago. I had to. In order to survive. Especially once I got my holoform fixed. It got broken in my crash onto this planet. It felt so long ago. I was very young when I got here. I didn't know much about anything. I was old enough to understand there was war going on in my home world. But to young to fight it in. So my sire and carrier sent me in a escape pod. I don't even remember who they are. All I remember is the colors of them. One was red and blue and the other was gray and pink. The last thing they said to me before closing the pod was that they love me and will find me again. And my real name. I kept my real name up until I was captured. When I escaped I had to change my name. And find a new name for my holoform. That I am now stuck in. I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could fix myself. I've tried everything. But nothing has worked. So I have come to terms with it.

I always wondered if my sire and carrier are looking for me. Maybe they died in the war. Or maybe they are on Earth and I have yet to see them. They wouldn't recognize me anyway. I look different and have a new name. I will never know. It would be nice to find them. Or at lease know what happened to them. Sometimes I wonder if I should try and trust somebot and ask. Maybe I have met them already and just don't know it. But there is nothing I can do. I can't trust anyone. It's just easier that way.

*Time skip*

It's been about one orbital cycle, or one month since I met Wheeljack and the Autobots. I have gone back to my regular routine. I have tried very hard to forget them. I know it's only been one month. But it feels like forever. I have put what happened behind me. And basically pretend it never happened. It's the only way I can forget. I have come to terms that they will never come back. Like everybody else. I have too. I've been keeping myself occupied as well as I can. I can't let my mind wonder. I know i was depressed before and have PTSD. But I think my depression has gotten worse. I don't know how to cure it. I've only just dealt with it. I don't think I'll ever be cured. With the torture of being out if my real body. I think if I were able to go back into my body. I think it would help a bit with the depression. But I don't know. I wish I did.

"I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I should just be happy I'm alive. But how can I be happy if I have nothing to live for. I'm alone. But I do help injured bots or cons or neutrals. Whatever they are. I do my best to help. I need to realize that." I say to no one. I guess I just want to hear my voice. You can only go so long until you start to talk to yourself. "I'm going crazy." I don't know how many times I say that to myself. I walk outside of my shop and look around. It's morning. The sun is still risings. It's always beautiful to watch. One of the things I like about Earth. The sunsets and sunrise are always beautiful. I can't remember much if how they looked back on Cybertron. I should ask the next bot I see, if they remember. But who knows when that will be.

I walk back inside and sit down near my computer. I start to read a weird signal. The same one I saw when Wheeljack and I went to get the part for his ship. "Decepicons?" I say aloud. I haven't really met any. I met one once, he was injured. I quickly healed him and sent him on his way. I don't like to deal with them to much. Looks like these ones are about a mile or two out. I see two other signals as well. They are Autobots. What are they doing way out here. I don't know who it is. But I hope they know they are being chased. And I hope no one gets hurt.

I continue to watch the screen. They had stopped for a bit. Not sure if they are fighting or talking. I definitely don't want to find out. I watch as some of the cons signals go offline. So they are fighting. I wonder if I should go see if they need help. Or any need medical attention. I don't know what to do. I start to Pace back and forth. It's about the only think I can think of doing. Before I know I hear the roar of engines. Then the sound of transforming. I ran outside and saw Optimus and bumblebee. Optimus was clutching his side and bumblebee was helping him to walk. My hands went to cover my mouth. Then I ran over to them with Charger at my heals.