Delusional. » narry boyxboy

I.

     The first chapter of a book is, more often than not, not a straight horizontal line. It's a jagged driveway leading up a dark mountainside, the shadows full of danger. Apart from this, there is also an ending that makes you want to read the next chapter. Personally, if the author doesn't catch me from the beginning, then there is no point in me reading on. Which, really, I would love to do, weren't it for my lovely room mates.

     “Did someone say I can have pie? I'll have Key Lime, thanks.”

I roll my eyes, sighing quietly in defeat and snapping my book shut. I rise from the sofa, seeing Louis peeking through the kitchen door, “I said I gave this jerk from yesterday a black eye, you tosser,” I hear Liam sigh, but Louis simply shrugs, “Too bad.”

I'm about to turn around the corner and take the last, reliefing steps to my room, when Louis is calling out. “Where you going, mate?”
I raise an eye-brow, fumbling with the hem of my t-shirt, “Just, uh, going to my room, why?” “You wanna go clubbing later with me and Liam?” the talkative boy asks and I have to force myself not to cringe obviously. I shake my head, “No, I. I am fine. Tired.” And with that I fully turn, slipping into my room.

I immediately let myself fall onto the mattress, mentally slapping myself, because I mashed my nose. It is embarrassing to lie to your room mates, when in reality you're just too much of a coward to go outside. Interacting has never been one of my good qualities, that's why I have always been alone. Honestly, I'm still wondering how I socialized with my other room mates and got to the point to share a flat with these people.

I simply don't like to open up and I don't even know why and no-one seems to understand so I just keep to myself and let everyone live past me. Besides, who should I even open up to? Louis is the most carefree man I have ever known (though, I am sure the in-and-out going girls are a sign of self-affirmation) and Liam tries helping everyone when, in fact, he can't handle his own problems and his own addiction to 'looking perfect'. And then there is also Zayn who — honestly — I have never heard talking before. I thought he may be mute, but Liam told me he does talk, though he privileges showing what he feels through his blasting music; songs about heartbreak and family issues. As far as I can see, the people living in this flat, including myself, all deal with their own little problems.

As if on cue, loud music is rushing through the whole flat and I roll my eyes, sitting up and running a hand through my hair. I huff, walking out of my room and into the living room, ready to mention that I was about to sleep.
“Zayn, could you maybe-” I stop halfway, as I see Zayn dancing with his eyes closed, his sweatpants low on his hips and no shirt on and I can't help, but watch him.

I smile lazely. “Zayn?” And this time the dark-haired man turns around, grinning casually and holding his hand out. I raise my eye-brow, “...what? You want me to dance?” Zayn nods, keeping the grin on his face and I take a step toward him and he grabs my wrist, pulling me against his chest.
I can feel my cheeks heating up as Zayn settles his arms around my waist; not that I fancy him or anything, but I'm not used to attention or any kind of affection, for that matter.

Silently, I lay my head on his shoulder as we simply stand there in the middle of the room and it's peaceful and I couldn't be more grateful. Unfortunately, it doesn't last long and the sound of two people coming into the room replaces the silence.

“Oi! Did we miss something?” It's Louis' voice and I immediately back away from Zayn, rolling my eyes. “No,” I simply reply and turn to go, looking back once and seeing Zayn still wearing that grin, now sitting on the sofa.

I rush into my room, closing the door and let myself down on my bed. A yawn rips through me before I can do anything about it and as I snuggle down into the pillow, I can't help, but feel lonely. And when realisation hits me, I have to swallow down the lump in my throat, because, yeah, that's just what I am — lonely.

I close my eyes, taking deep breaths in and forcing myself to sleep. And then my mind wanders to the lyrics that played,

“I've been having this dream that we could fly, so maybe if we never wake up, we can see the sky.”