Betrayed By Fate

Chapter 34 | "Rogue"

I was rambeling on, my childhood that I treasured, the times I was with Arlen. My eyes wandering around without a clear purpose.

"He never once told me he hated me, he never gave me the fault for how he was treated, he would be the one cheering for me the loudest in the front row, swearing at the other little kids that if they even graced his little sister with the wooden sword he would beat them up, and then I would see the teachers throw him out for inappropriate behaviour, he was the one to tell me how proud he was, praise me "

"I truly loved him and would have never traded him for anything, he was the only real family I had, but he left, without a word from a day to another he just disappeared"

"I heard him and my parents talking in hushed voices, in the middle of the night, the night before he left. The curious child I was, I eavesdroped"

"My parents wanted to send me to another pack where they had programmes for young sword fighter, my brother knew the pack, even I knew it, it didn't have the best reputation, and the training there was hard. He was furious about it, how could they want to send their 10 year old daughter to a place like that, so they gave him a deal"

"They believed he was a 'bad influence' they didn't want him near me. They promised that they wouldn't send me, but he has to leave the pack. A ridiculous deal, so my parents were confident he would never say yes, but they were proven wrong the next morning he left"

"As a kid, I felt betrayed, left alone. I was angry, angry that he decided to leave me with those people instead of taking me with him, I didn't want to understand that he tried to protect me, I didn't care about myself if that meant losing him, I was left with the haunting thought he might be somewhere on the world alive...or dead" no tears. No sadness. It felt rather good to talk about it, to lighten my heart to someone I can trust.

"Sorry, I kept on rambeling, I didn't meant to tell you my life story" I chuckled but it was drained from any humor.

He was silent, keeping a close eye on me.

"If he had taken you with him, what would you have done? He was around twenty when he left, do you think he would be able to take care of a child? What dangers being a rouge bring, do you think your beloved brother would bear to put you in danger? He left to protect you, would he have taken you with him it would have defied his purpose"

He was right.

I know that.

"I know"

But him leaving the pack was like sure death wish it felt like I lost my family, he was like Schrödinger's cat, dead, but in the same time alive, so it was easier to pretend he was dead to not get my hopes up, believing it, killed me inside.

I just left it with that.

I cleared my throat " favourite colour, animal, food. Go!"

He didn't complain of the topic change and answered.

"Silver, cat, your pancakes" he shot out, as if it was a competition who answers faster.

"You?"

I wasn't about to lose "icebluewolfchocolatecake" I grinned at him triumphantly, he shook his head.

"Explain why" I asked because I am pretty sure he said my pancakes and I want to hear that again.

"Wipe that cheeky grin off-" he let out a deep laugh "-Silver because of someone's beautiful eyes, cat because it reminds me of someone, and your pancakes because they are delicious" the glint in his eyes enough to make my heart pulse.