There Must Be Something More

73 | Sophie

I should have listened to them. If I had it probably wouldn't have had to come to this. It probably didn't have to come to the point where your best friend was lying on the hospital bed, chalky white and stiff. I gave up a shaky breath. Liam Kirby was dead.  

Meredith covered her face with her hands. Grandpa Chuck took his brown cowboy hat off and pushed it against his chest, his head lowered and shaking. Sophie knelt by her brother's bed, her face buried on her folded arms, her shoulders rising and falling.

And I walked out of there.

"Charlie? Charlie!" Grandpa Chuck called.

I ignored everything and hurried across the halls. The nurses who caught a glance of my bloodshot and red-rimmed eyes all looked at me funny. 

"Charlie! Please!" Grandpa Chuck caught up to me.

I stopped in my tracks. I knew he was behind me. I clenched my fists and held it in.

"I know it hurts, buddy," he said.

I turned around fiercely and tackled the old man in a hug. I wept on his shoulder. He smelled like a pine cone. 

Grandpa Chuck rubbed my back like my dad would. I just cried all the more. I didn't care if everybody was staring. I was shattered to the bone.

"We're in this together, alright, Charlie?" He said. "You can tell me or Meredith or Samuel or Steven or Trey anything. We're here for you. And remember, God has a plan for everything. He is always in control if you trust that He is."

I gritted my teeth. "Why would He let this happen? Why would He let Liam die even before he becomes a Christian? Why?"

"You don't know that, boy. For all we know Liam repented and trusted in Jesus before his last breath. For all we know."

"Who could ever know?" I demanded.

"God." Grandpa Chuck looked me in the eyes and said that.

Tears rolled down my cheek. "I can't do this. I can't watch him lifeless on that bed. I can't. I want to go home."

The old man looked at me warily. He squeezed my shoulder. "You sure?"

I nodded. "Please."

"I promised his sister Sophie I'd help her about the charges and all," he said. "I'll ask Meredith to drive you home. Wait here."

----------

The cool sunset air felt nice and fresh on my face. And the dried tears made me feel like my cheeks were made of cement. I stared at my red-rimmed eyes on the side mirror. I glanced away.

"You can talk, you know," I said to Meredith, who had been silent since the journey back to our neighborhood started.

"What do you want me to say?" She asked, not cracking an expression. It was hard to read her again.

"Anything," I told her.

"Anything," she said.

"What?" I asked.

"You said you wanted me to say anything. And I did."

I laughed. I didn't know I could laugh that hard, even after the crying. And then I felt a little better.

Meredith went on and started talking about the new flowers she planted in their backyard for her sheep and other farm animals to enjoy. She said it with obvious joy in her face, and I almost shared that same joy with her.

Then she stopped in front of our yard.

I saw my mom and dad's cars out on the front. My car was parked in the garage. 

"Say hi to Mr. and Mrs. Borlock for me!" She said with a huge grin.

"I will," I smiled.

Before I shut the door, I told her, "Thank you, Meredith."

"That's okay. I've got plenty of gas to go around."

I laughed. Of course I meant more than the ride. But the girl had always been silly, even several years after. She never changed.

I watched her drive out of sight back to the hospital, and then I jogged inside our house.

"Welcome home, honey," Mom said. It had been a while since I saw her. But I was glad I did. As soon as she stepped onto the foyer, I tackled her in a hug.

She giggled. "You missed me, Charlie?"

"Very much," I said.

"Hey, what about me, champ?" Dad invited.

I laughed and tackled him in a hug too. He laughed loudly and then ruffled my hair. I usually told him off if he did that, but I didn't care anymore. Ever since I knew Jesus and everything else important, I had no time for my looks. Of course I took the time to look good, but not as much as I did before. Looks were feeble. And first Samuel 16:7 is the greatest proof.

----------

"Come on, come on." I pounded the trash with the rock I found on the sidewalk. I used all my strength until it squeezed in-between its fellow trashes. The smell was foul. I almost gagged if I didn't hurry to close the lid.

"You know, you could use our dumpster," someone said behind me.

I screamed and let go of the lid. It slammed shut, and the smell spread like a smoke bomb. I staggered back and realized it was Sophie. She was laughing. I blushed and backed away quickly.

"You scared me," I told her.

"Sorry," she said, giggling.

She opened their dumpster and I dumped our trash.

"Want to come inside? I'm making hot cocoa," she invited.

"Thanks," I said.

----------

"It was four years ago," Sophie said, circling her mug of hot cocoa. Her blond hair was tucked behind her ear, and I realized she was pretty.

"Dad found out Mom was cheating on him with her manager," she explained. "And then he immediately filed for a divorce. Dad admitted he had never really loved our mom in the first place. He just stayed for Liam and me. But when he left, he wanted to leave us too. He said he just couldn't bear it anymore. He wanted a new life. When he left, my world ended. Dad and I were the closest. I was fifteen and Liam was twelve when he left.

"As soon as he did, I ran away too. I took Liam with me, of course. I couldn't leave him with a homewrecker. I stayed with a friend during those times. I took multiple part-time jobs and volunteer work. I earned enough to buy us an apartment for ourselves. 

"And then I met Tyler on my first week in college. He's my boyfriend. And he's really rich. We've only been dating for five months and he's already bought us a house and got Liam into a private school. He was everything I ever needed. But, I..."

Sophie looked at me. Her eyes were teary. "I don't really love Tyler. And that's the reason why Liam and I fight almost every night. Tyler just proposed, and I said yes. I saw it as the only way I could give Liam a good life. Liam hated it. He didn't want me taking all the responsibility." She smiled sadly. "He said marriage was supposed to be centered on real love so we wouldn't end up like Mom and Dad. Liam might just be a kid, but he's certainly learned more from our experience than I did. He hated the fact that I had to marry someone I didn't love just so we could have a good life. He even said he'd get a part-time job to help us, but I didn't want him to. I didn't want him going through hard times for Mom and Dad's mistake. I was fine with taking the responsibility. Just not him."

I nodded. "I could imagine. He's a really good guy. I loved him like a brother."

"And he loved you like a brother too," Sophie said. And then she buried her face in her arms, her knees folded to her chest. She began to weep.

I did too.