can i, baby? | zdj & cvm | completed

xl

i didn't leave my room in days. i didn't let anyone see me. not christopher, not zabdiel.

i was ashamed of my actions. i am an engaged woman, my wedding is in two weeks, yet i thought for a second to leave my fiancé to run away with the man i used to love.

but that's the thing, i didn't use to love him. i still do. i am very much in love with him, just like i was years ago.

"you have to eat something, cor." sebastian tried to persuade me. "daisy told me it's been at least two days since you had a proper meal."

i scoffed and wrapped my arms over my chest. i had already let him drag me out of my room. i refused to do anything else.

"whatever happened between you and my brother that day shouldn't be excuse to..." vianney trailed off.

"to act like a spoiled brat who didn't get their way." zabdiel finished for her.

i turned to him with a frown on my face, then i looked at sebastian and vianney. "why the fuck would you bring him?"

"relax, little one." he said, walking closer to me. "they didn't even know i was coming."

i still narrowed my eyes at sebastian, who held his hands up in defeat. i sighed and got up. "i don't give a shit. you know where the door is, goodbye." i headed for the door, but zabdiel was quicker than me. he grabbed my wrists and held them both with one hand. i glared at him, "fuck off." i spit.

he kept a straight face. "listen, princess. you are getting married in a couple of weeks, as much as i hate to say it, and you can't be pulling this bullshit when you need to be at your best, okay?" he raised his eyebrows and pressed a quick peck to my forehead. "i love you." he murmured under his breath, but i still heard it. "i won't be in your way anymore, i won't make you choose again. as much as it hurts, i have to let you go. but you gotta shape up, baby."

i shifted under his gaze. i felt sebastian and vianney leaving the room, leaving us alone. i kept my eyes down, i was afraid of breaking down if i looked into his eyes.

he grabbed my chin and pulled it up. i tried to resist, but i looked up anyway. his eyes looked sad, it didn't have that sparkle that i loved to see in his brown eyes. my anger dissolved once i betrayed myself by looking into his eyes.

my eyes fluttered shut when a tear slipped from them. i felt his lips on my cheek, right where the tear was. he didn't move his lips for a few seconds. another tear had rolled down by then and i had opened my eyes.

"don't look at me like that." he murmured. i furrowed my eyebrows. i was about to ask him what he meant, but he beat me to it. "you're looking at me so innocently. it makes me wanna make you mine right here, right now."

a small gasp escaped my lips, my face surely turned red in less than a second. how did he manage to turn a serious situation into... this? a heat began to form between my legs as i remembered the last time he made me his, right in this very room, only a week or two before, then a couple of days later again in his room. my body keeps betraying my mind.

before i realized it, he had closed the gap between us and he planted a kiss on my lips. i pushed him off me quickly. i resisted the urge to slap him as hard as i could.

"what the fuck?" i muttered out. why was he playing with my feelings again? one moment he wants me to run away with him and leave everything behind us, then he starts naming all the reasons why i should stay with christopher. i won't let him keep playing with me like this.

in a quick moment, zabdiel was being pulled away from me and my fiancé stood before me. i gasped as zabdiel loudly hit the floor and christopher looked down at him, rage filled his eyes as he inhaled deeply.

"give me one reason why i shouldn't kill you for kissing my future wife." christopher spoke in a tone i had never heard from him, not even when he thought i wanted to be with zabdiel instead of him. "answer me, you fucking asshole."

i couldn't read zabdiel's expression. he sure as hell wasn't intimidated by christopher, yet here i was beside him scared to death. zabdiel stood up, smiling as he pretended to brush off dirt from his shirt. he was up to no good. "are you going to kill me for kissing her now, or last week?"

christopher's head turned to me so quick that i was afraid that it would be dislocated. i blinked slowly, still looking at zabdiel. i am not letting him sabotage my marriage, not when i could finally be happy. christopher's jaw was clenched tightly, it was hard not getting turned on by his aggressiveness. snap out of it, rose. he looks like he could slam zabdiel's head repeatedly into the wall until it was completely smashed.

"did you walk in before or after she said she loved me enough to consider running away from you?"

i inhaled sharply as i closed my eyes. i was not able to watch christopher's eyes harden as zabdiel kept talking. shut the fuck up. i wanted to scream out, but a whimper came out of my mouth instead.

"you what?" christopher spit out. i knew he was talking to me, looking at me, but i was absolutely speechless.

making christopher hate me? good one zabdiel. it won't make me run away with you now, though.

"don't listen to him, baby." i breathed out. i was taking deep breaths, i could feel a small pressure coming up my chest. "i-i'm not- he's lying." he partly isn't, but you don't need to know that. "you know i love you, chris. i would never do that to you."

i refused to open my eyes, but i think it was working because i felt a warm hand on my cheek.

"babe, babygirl, i'm sorry." i heard him whisper in my ear. "i-i thought that, since you two were friends again-" he pressed his lips to my head momentarily. "i got jealous. seeing him kissing you just now, i thought i lost you."

i shook my head, "i'm right here. i'm not going anywhere."