can i, baby? | zdj & cvm | completed

xxv

"wake up, darling. we have to go soon." a soft voice said. i turned around, only to have my covers snatched away from my body. i groaned, curling into a ball.

i finally opened my eyes, only to find my mother's staring at me. i raised an eyebrow, "we have to go?" i repeated. "go where?"

it was her turn to raise her eyebrows. "to lieusaint. don't tell me you forgot."

i closed my eyes tightly. "oh fuck, i was supposed to go with you? but what about what i told you last night?"

"last night? you didn't say anything." she said confused. "language, rose. you're a—"

"you're a lady." i finished for her. "i know, mother. sorry."

"get up, the maids will get you ready."

with that, she was out of my room. not only i had to give up trying to find christopher, but i also had to spend the day in some boring business meeting? how fucking great.

not long after i got up one of the maids came up to my room.

"princess?" she had timidly said as soon as she walked in. "i-i'm here to help you get dressed."

i smiled at her, "you're new, right? just call me rose. leave all those formalities for my mother. what's this?" i said grabbing the dress she had in her hands.

"um, it's the dress your mother picked out."

i rolled my eyes. "i am not wearing a long dress today. have you felt how it is outside? how is that even possible, the sun is barely out." i rambled as i walked into my closet to drop the dress my mother chose and get a short one instead.

the maid, whose name i learnt was daisy, helped me tighten my corset until i was barely able to breathe. "holy shit do i hate wearing these." i muttered. i wasn't the skinniest girl out there, why did i have to wear a corset to pretend that i was.

christopher didn't seem to mind.

the thought brought a small blush to my cheeks. i pushed the memories to the back of my mind and walked out of my room to get breakfast.

"we'll eat there." my mother quickly said when she saw me heading towards the kitchen. i protested, but it was clearly in vain. my only option was to suck it up and starve for one more hour.

i annoyed my mother during the whole ride. i complaining about everything, even by things that didn't bother me. that's what she gets for making her only child starve to death when we weren't even running late.

the negotiations are between the queens, maybe zabdiel won't even be there. he was on a trip when he came to my house, wasn't he? maybe he was still away.

a silent no fucking way escaped my lips when i saw him standing at the top of the stairs, right in front of the door and behind his mother. he had a serious look on his face, probably pissed off that he had been dragged out of his bed early. that makes two of us. i gave the queen a fake smile as i greeted her.

"i'm so happy to see you, rose!" she pulled me in a hug that i instantly returned. "please come in, i'm sure you will have a great day with my son."

i tried not to make it obvious that i didn't want to be left alone with zabdiel. my facial expression must have betrayed me because a scowl was etched into his features. i replied emotionless, "i can't wait." to get the heck out of this place. seriously, why did my mother make me tag along? to somehow make me reconnect with zabdiel?

"would you like something to eat? or a drink, perhaps?"

i smiled, an actual real smile this time, at who could've been my mother-in-law once. "how could i say no to the queen?"

she laughed. "you're so lovely. zabdiel here will take you to the dining hall while i speak to your mother. i figured you would be hungry after traveling so i told the cook to make extra food."

"thank you." i pressed my lips together, wanting to end the conversation already. i've been hungry for the past two hours and the corset was digging into my skin. i was feeling nauseous already.

zabdiel held out his arm for me. he noticed my hesitation, so he grabbed my hand and placed it on his arm. "no need to get shy with me now."

i nodded, "i'm just not feeling very well."

"i can take you to the guest room once you get something to eat so you can rest for a couple of hours."

"thanks." i mumbled. "mother woke me up really early, i feel so tired." we walked in a comfortable silence. the feeling of nausea increased as i smelt the food. "on second thought, can you take me upstairs? i don't feel hungry anymore."

he looked at me for a moment, clearly taken aback for my sudden change. he nodded and turned around towards the stairs. he wrapped an arm around me as we walked upstairs. i silently thanked him, i was feeling pretty weak now. i didn't understand how did i get so ill from one moment to another. i was feeling well before.

"are you okay?" he asked as i sat down on the bed.

"i'm fine. i've been feeling sort of sick for a couple of days now." i pulled the hem of my dress down.

he crossed his arms. "are you sure? you seem so... not you."

"this morning i was fine. i just don't get how i felt ill all of a sudden."

"what are you feeling?"

"i started with headaches, then i felt nauseous throughout the day. i thought i just had a cold. apparently it's not that." i laughed drily. "plus i'm feeling tired all the time, that's not normal, is it?" i asked more to myself. now that i thought about it... i looked up to find zabdiel already staring at me. i tilted my head to the side. "what?" i giggled.

he smiled while shaking his head. "can't i admire your beauty?"

he always knew what to say to make my cheeks heat up. he licked his lips as he made his way to the bed i was sitting at. my mind takes me back to the time sebastian caught zabdiel and i making out in my bed. my cheeks were probably as red as a tomato now.

i placed my hand over my chest when i felt a slight pressure on it. next thing i know i was running to the bathroom to throw up all the breakfast i didn't eat, and probably last night's dinner.