can i, baby? | zdj & cvm | completed

xix

i closed my eyes before speaking up, "can you just hold me, one last time?"

zabdiel didn't reply, i thought he left. i opened my eyes and they began to tear up, but then i felt his arms around my waist. this is definitely not the last time i am hugging him, but i wanted him to do it like it was.

his strong arms held me firmly, yet gently. he rested his chin on top of my head.

"i'm so fucking sorry." he said.

i shook my head, giggling softly. "not long ago we were yelling and insulting each other."

"it's all my fault."

"don't take all the blame." i sniffed. "it's my fault too."

he let go of me and grabbed my face. "are you crying?"

i shook my head, not really trusting my words.

zabdiel could see right through me. he kissed my forehead, "i hate seeing you cry. you deserve all the happiness in the world, princess."

it has been a couple of days since christopher and i's engagement ball. i haven't talked to him yet, i probably should get to that soon.

zabdiel came over, we spoke about everything that happened between us. i have no doubts that i love him and want to marry him, but i don't think i can hurt christopher.

nothing happened between him and anne. she never tried to flirt with him, i was just overreacting. everything was friendly between them.

i looked up at zabdiel, "i'm scared of my mother's reaction."

"we could always run away far, far away from here."

i smiled. "what about our people?"

he shrugged. "our parents can figure that one out themselves."

maybe i was actually considering his proposal of running away, but i refused to keep running away from my problems. i would have to face this sooner or later.

"we could have an affair, what christopher doesn't know won't kill him."

i slapped his shoulder. "shut up."

he smirked, "make me."

i raised my eyebrows. "real smooth." i pulled him down so i could reach his lips.

he wasted no time in deepening the kiss. i pushed him towards my bed and straddled him once he was sitting down. he slipped his hand up my dress, a moan leaving my lips when his hand brushed my panties.

"what if your mother comes in?" he muttered against my lips.

"i don't care."

i should've cared. he shouldn't have given in so easily. maybe that way we wouldn't have been caught.

~ ♡ ~

"are you fucking serious right now, rose?"

i winced at his tone, but kept my eyes on the floor.

"do you not give a shit about christopher?"

"you never curse that much." i was probably making it worse, but i couldn't help it.

"i just found zabdiel and you, in your bed, naked!"

"i'm sorry."

"damn right you should be." sebastian sighed and sat down beside me on the couch. "you're lucky it was only me. but you have to tell christopher."

"no, i can't." i quickly shook my head, tears already blurring my vision. "he will be so heartbroken, i refuse to make him suffer."

"oh, but you can gladly cheat on him." he scoffed.

i looked down. he was right, i felt so dirty for doing this to him. i should have never let zabdiel into my life again.

"if you don't tell him, i will."

i looked at him with wide eyes, "you wouldn't."

"you may be my friend, he's my friend too. i don't want to know that you're having an affair with zabdiel while christopher has no idea. how long has this been going on? how long did you plan on dragging it out for?"

i stayed quiet. i didn't think that he would do this to me. he hugged me, rubbing my arm gently.

"at least tell me that you two aren't making me an uncle so soon. i'm still too young for that kind of responsibility." sebastian joked.

i looked at him surprised that he was actually joking when he was furious with me just moments before. i crossed my arms over my chest and rolled my eyes, "you're twenty. are you going to be old enough for 'that kind of responsibility' when you turn fifty?"

he laughed and let go of me. "i have to go soon. my father wasn't feeling well when i left, i'm worried about him."

"you must go then, don't let me keep you." i pushed him towards the door. "your mother must be worried sick as well, don't leave her alone."

he gave me a stern look. "remember what i told you."

i sighed, but nodded nonetheless. he kissed my forehead before saying goodbye and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

what am i going to do with zabdiel and christopher?

♡

i know that in those times they wore these weird ass undergarments instead of panties and boxers and all that shit, but honestly i have no idea what's its name or how does it even work so like let's pretend for a moment.
also i am SO SORRY for not updating in almost two months i just didn't feel like continuing the story anymore but now im back back back again :D so like expect either shorter chapters more often or longer chapters every week or two however im feeling at the moment.
keep voting and commenting because your comments are what inspire me to keep writing this story for you guys.