Unsteady (COMPLETED)

ELEVEN

Now - Michael

Her emotions are written all over her face. Her beautiful, green eyes that melt me with one look are wide and vulnerable. A stray tear falls from them and I gently wipe it away with the pad of my thumb. Her brows are slightly creased and lips are slightly agape. 

The look she is giving me now tells me that she doesn't want to leave either - that she loves me as much as I love her. 

"I will always choose you and our son over everything. Even if it's hard and I hate it, I will quit drinking for you. I will do anything for you, Ella. Anything." I tell her honestly. "I would run to the Rocky Mountains and bring you back a rock if you asked me to. I would sleep outside butt naked for a month if you asked me to. I would cut my testicles off and become a monk if that was what you wanted me to do

"Anything at all. You just have to ask."

A small smile graces her lips and a chuckle escapes them. "Well, I wouldn't want you to do that." She giggles. 

"Good, because I'm rather attached to them," I reply, returning her smile. 

Silence overcomes us and Ella gently rests her head on my chest again. I hold her tight and close, leaning my chin on her head and gently rubbing her back with my hand. I can feel her smile on my chest and it makes my heart soar.

"Remember that promise you asked me to keep?" I ask, breaking the silence. 

She pulls away and looks up at me, her brows furrowed in confusion. 

"The one where you asked me to always be there for you?" I explain and she nods her head. "When I made that promise, I fully intended to keep it and I still do intend to keep it - if you will let me. But I would like to make another promise."

"Yeah?" She whispers. 

"Yeah. This one may be a little harder to keep at first, but I am sure I will manage." I say truthfully. "I promise to quit drinking and to be the best husband that I can be."

"That sounds like a promise doomed for failure." She says as she puts at least two feet between us on the bed. Her face is changing into one of realization and anger. "This whole thing is destined for failure. Everything! All it takes is one thing that's too hard for you to handle and you will be right back to the bottle.

"We've been through this before. You have said those same pretty words before. You have made those same promises that give me hope and then you stomp on it." She states firmly, fire behind her eyes. "I can't even count on my hands and feet how many times we have had this exact conversation."

"I know I have let you down in the past-"

"Let me down? Let me down?" She repeats with a humourless chuckle. "You've done more than let me down, Mike. You have disappointed me. You have hurt me. You have ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it with steel-toed boots. You have completely broken me.

"You are a liar and a con artist-"

"How am I a con artist?" I ask angrily, my own temper flaring.

"You conned me multiple times into believing you would change!" She yelled, giving me a look that silently tells me the answer is obvious. "You conned me into thinking that you didn't have a problem when we were younger. You conned me into thinking you would take care of Tyler and me when you asked me to marry you. You conned me into thinking that you would change hundreds of times.

"How are you not a con artist?" She finishes, raising an eyebrow as if she is asking 'just try me'.

"I have a problem, I admit that, but I ain't no con artist. I've never lied to you."

She throws her head back and lets out a laugh before looking back at me. "Oh, you're serious?" She asks giving me a hellish grin. 

"Yes, I am serious." I spit. "I've never lied to you. I love you. I love Tyler and I always will."

"Oh, I don't doubt you love us, Michael." She says coolly. "But you have lied. Look at all those nights you would come home late from 'work'." She uses finger quotations around the word 'work'. "You would tell me the boss needed you late that night. That was certainly a lie."

"That was-"

"And those Saturdays when you told me you would be helping your mom out, only to come home around...ahhh, three in the morning?" She says. "That was definitely a lie."

"I did-"

"And those times you were fired. You would tell me that they laid you off because they were slow or they fired you unjustly with some bullshit excuse." She pauses, raising a brow. "You are saying those weren't lies? Because in my book, those were certainly fucking lies, Mike."

I sigh in frustration. "If you would just let me talk, I'd-"

"No, Mike. I'm done letting you talk. I've been done letting you talk. This is more than just me now." She pauses, wiping tears from her eyes. "We have a seven-year-old son together who has now learned to not expect anything from you whatsoever. How does that feel, Mike?"

That hurt. That last sentence could have killed me if it was a knife. Flashbacks of my own father played in my head as I stared at her in absolute silence. 

"How does it feel, Mike?" She repeats. Her voice quieter as she interrupts me from my memories. "How does it feel to be your father? Because I certainly hate being my mother."