19| before

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Coach Hawk says next time I'm late for a game, he'll make me wash everyone's kneepads. When I tell him I don't even wash mine, he calls me disgusting and sends me to warm up with the rest of the team with a harsh frown on his face.

I'm only late because mom said she would drive to school this morning, but then she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed, and I couldn't bring myself to force her to, so I just took the bus instead.

I don't tell Coach Hawk this because he would think she's a bad mom and she's not. Except he would only understand that if I told him the reason she can't get up is because my dad left and he's not coming back. Not this time.

I look around. Roman's warming up with his hat still on, like an idiot, and Ace's throwing balls at Milo, also like an idiot, and Levi's alone, just passing the ball to himself, again and again. I say hi to everyone and then walk up to him.

"Hi."

Levi grabs the ball with both hands to look at me. I think he's going to smile the way he usually does, but instead he frowns, "What happened to your face?"

Coach Hawk asked the same thing when he saw the bruise on my nose. I told him it was a stupid fight and he said I was better than that. I don't think I am, but I didn't tell him that.

"Well, thanks," I say to Levi. "Way to make a boy feel pretty."

I take the ball from his hands, but he grabs my t-shirt before I can step back, "Seriously, what happened?"

"It was just a stupid fight." I shrug, looking down at his hand still on my t-shirt. When he lets go of it, I walk backwards so we can start warming up and change the conversation.

"Why did you call me the other day?"

He shrugs, "I don't remember. I think I wanted to ask you something."

I pass him the ball with a smile on my lips, "Do you have a crush on me?"

I regret saying it as soon as it comes out of my mouth, but Levi just laughs and passes the ball back at me, nice and high.

"You're not really my type," he says.

A fastball hits his shoulder and I'm about to say it's karma, when I see who threw it at him in the first place. A few steps away, Milo's going through the motions of an invisible blowjob.

I ignore him and turn back to Levi, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Levi watches the ball that hit him move across the gymnasium floor with an unimpressed look on his face and then looks back at me, "I like taller guys."

"You like taller guys?" I pass our ball over to him.

"I like taller guys." He passes it back.

Another ball hits him, this time on his leg. I look at Milo.

"Sorry!" he shouts over. I don't even know where he got the ball. The other one is still rolling all the way to the other side of the gym.

"Just stop it," I warn him.

"Why do you think I'm doing it on purpose?" Milo frowns. "You always think the worst of me. How do you think that makes me feel?"

I open my mouth, but he's faster.

"Like shit, Finn!" he shouts. "That's how it makes me feel!"

"Good!" I shout back.

The gym is packed with people. There are families already cheering for their boys on the bleachers and the game hasn't even started yet. There are girlfriends. Friends. Friends with benefits. Everyone's talking over everyone.

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