My life story

8th grade (Aug. and Sept.)

August

Hey, how was your summer? Mine was really great, travelling really makes time go by quicker. Life had a lot go on for me. As of the time this is beginning to be written, the US solar eclipse just occurred a few hours ago even though it was a kinda cloudy morning. Besides the point, I have a lot that has happened. Me and Noah sort of broke up but now we're in an unofficial relationship. Zach, Maycn, Noah and I have became a four way best friendship and my sexuality is unofficially pan-sexual. I never told anyone about it but I'll eventually open up to it. Me and Noah also celebrated our half year anniversary last month and our 7 month anniversary today so our love has still gone very strong. But, which caused us to unofficiate our relationship, we told our parents about everything and my parents made me end it. That day was the worse day of my life and I actually cried in front of him, Zach and Maycn. And now, me and Noah are reserving our love until we're in high school or until college to tell our parents about it. Now, about my summer.

The entire summer was very travel based. I barely spent time in my house that i barely remember being there in the first place. I went to Chicago IL. for 2 weeks since i went to a wedding and was left there with my sister and brother for a week before my brother left and it was just my sister with me and my cousins. After returning home, it was a month until I went to Redding CA. to go to the Cervania Camping weekend which occurred on the 6 month anniversary for me and Noah. After a while, our decided to go down to Los Angeles to visit my brother since that's where he did summer school which led to my sister and I staying there for a week. Now that i think about it, I spent almost an entire month away from home and the rest of the time was me talking to my friends and Noah the entire time. But now that school is back in session, life is gonna be 10x more busy since I'll be in a church program thing on Mondays and an extra education thing on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Other than that, life is going pretty well even with it being the start of a new school year, and on October 14, my cousin in LA is getting married and since my brother is gonna get drunk on that day, I'm gonna get caught up on alot about his and my cousins' lives. Until September, this is Kheska signing off.

September

Me and Noah broke up, Maycn still talks to him, Zach doesn't talk to anyone. It's so weird how so much can change in just days. It's been at least a week since it ended and if anything, I'm just neutral. I see a few cute guys here and there but I can tell that I have no chance with them. I began to look and now, I have an online friend in London. I don't want to talk about Noah at all so from this point forward, his name is Nevaeh. Nevaeh became gay on the day after we broke up so I had a huge meltdown and even though I was very happy the few minutes after we broke it off. I managed to talk to him one last time and we made a bet that $50 would go to the one with a higher GPA (from the one with a lower GPA) since we said we'd go to the same college. I'm over him but now I'm just constantly thinking of the things that we did as a "couple" and I realized at the 4 month mark and on, we weren't in it for the long run, we were wanting it for sexual stuff. I know that a majority of the incidents that happened in our relationship were love based but the main things we would did were argue and roleplay a sex scene. I regret being in something so toxic. but next month should be happier. But on a smaller note, I am acting kinda like a hoe in a way. Three guys in three days, I'm with the third as of right now but the other two basically left me. Sounds like either me being a hoe or I had 2 one night/day stands. It's a birthday weekend so I can't wait to celebrate with my brother and cousins. (after the party) Apparently,I've became so bad that i's even worse for myself.  I managed to get my cousins to actually hate and leave me so that's just greats. I realized that I am literally the worse person to ever be with based on the fact that my life if so horrible. I emailed a guy that I like him but I don't know how that'll turn out since I'm with an online relationship. I'll try asking my friend, White Ryan, about everything since he's actually helpful for me while I'm helpful to him. I really just wanna be away from everyone and everything. I wanna start a new. Maybe if I were to actually move to the Philippines like I've always wanted, I might actually be happy but I'll just assume for now that it's a bad idea. Dying doesn't seem like a bad approach either but it's not like I can ever recover from that. And by recover, I mean that I can't automatically get a reaction post of me dying since I'll be, well, dead. I just hate being left out of almost EVERYTHING because I don't know how to impress EVERYONE that I become associated with. I just hate my damn life. I hate being antisocial. I hate being alive, at least for now.  But until October, this is Kheska Sirbania signing off.