Ehsaas....a feeling

Get Together

“When I saw the bedroom decorated with red and white roses, I shivered with fear. I knew what would happen next but I was barely prepared.” Was my very first thought when I had entered this room.

"It all had seemed indimidating and strange at first!!!"

"The smell of roses which once had a nauseated feeling on me had now given me the most sexiest smell that'll hook me to it all my life. I was sitting at the edge of my bed which was unknown to me when I had walked in first."

"I heard a slight knock on the door and I shivered." I took a deep breath as I opened the tap to fill the bathtub, while I sat on the edge of the bathtub.

"It was him. He locked the door and came to sit beside me." Although I have known him very well but still he felt as a stranger to me. As if I was locked up in a room with a stranger. Just then my Mami's words ranged through my ears. "If Allah won't give love in between spouses then how are we suppose to live with them our whole life. You will also love him Seher. Just hold yourself together.”

“Fawad was sweating profusely although the air conditioner was at a low temperature. He was nervous, I could tell it right away but so was I." But why was he nervous this was not the first time when we were alone in our room. "He looked at me and then looked away. Then he looked at me again. He didn’t know what to say. He was being shy. Finally he gained the confidence and asked me if I could be his forever? This question shifted my adrenaline to the sixth gear. My heart throbbed as shakily I said, “Yes.”

I closed the tap as I took a deep breath.

"The only thing he repeatedly told me was to appologize, to feel free to get angry on him. But after making him sure that I'm not at all angry, he calmed down a little. After a while he softly said that We were going to have a wonderful life together, that I was sure of. In Sha Allah"

In Sha Allah, I repeated what I had said last night.

""Don’t you think arranged marriages are funny?" he asked and I smiled with a sigh of relief. Soon we were both engrossed in a conversation with fun and laughter. He made me be at ease and open up like no one ever had.

"You see... to tell you the truth, I have been in love with you for a while now. Before I was brave enough to confess, this happens. So it was too good to be true for me... that I felt like you're mine now. But I forgot that your feelings might not be the same for me.

"But I'll tell you what. It would really be wonderful if this marriage would last, despite what it is, because I do not lie about loving you. I love you so much I would die for you, like you'd for your friends." He said.

Our eyes were still with each other a moment later. I was so shocked by his confession, I forgot to blink. Then I felt bad myself. This marriage had given me everything, a loving family, an awesome husband.

"No," I finally spoke up, "I'm being unfair to you like this... your family was there for me when there was no one for me and I am being... like this, to you – ".

" I don't want you to take this marriage like some sort of a business," he said with a serious look, "I don't want you to pretend to be a filial wife."

"I will wait, I will wait until you love me for me, even if it takes forever – until my beard grows white or – or until Aapu's child graduates high school."

I burst out laughing, "Wow, that's a long time – and you don't even have a beard".

He put on a smirk and grabbed his chin, "I will be, I hope you don't mind – no – even if you do, I'm still going to grow one."