I Still Need ✓

34. I wish for us all to get what we all wish for

With my heart stuck somewhere in my throat, I approached their table and pulled out a chair. "Mind if I sit down?"

"Who am I to say no?" Dylan replied dryly.

"I did my part!" Rafael said as he got up with a wide smile.

Floyd took his seat and muttered, "Poorly," but this passed unnoticed and the three of us were left alone with an awkward silence.

Eventually, Dylan put his elbows on the table, positioning his head on his palms, and motioned at us to start talking. I was secretly happy he'd stayed to listen and hadn't left at the mere sight of us.

"Okay, uh..." I trailed off unsurely. I didn't even know where to start, because I had so much to say. How much I'd missed him. How much it'd hurt me to see him leave. How much I loved him. But none of those seemed like a good thing to start with.

"We talked to your dad," Floyd blurted.

Dylan's eyes went just as wide as mine did.

Of all things! That was even worse!

"You did what?!"

"You heard him," I said with an awkward chuckle, kicking Floyd under the table. "You wouldn't talk to us, so we—"

"So two gay boys went to talk to my homophobic ass of a dad? You're insane."

"I'm not gay," Floyd murmured.

"Irrelevant."

"Well, it's been done," I sighed. "He told us everything."

That got Dylan quiet. "He did?"

"Rubbed it in our faces even."

He scowled and leaned back in his chair. "So what are you here for then? You know it's useless. He'd send me away if we'd try again."

"Dylan, look." Floyd suddenly grabbed his hand above the table, but surprisingly, he didn't pull away. "We love you."

He merely stared at us in shock and I added, "We do. We really do. Why would we go through so much trouble otherwise?"

"So let us tell you how it is," said Floyd.

I nodded, and Dylan sighed tiredly, but then shrugged—enough of a sign to go on, I suppose.

So I told him everything I wanted him to know.

"This past month was hell. I'm not gonna lie. Floyd and I... I guess we were... happy to be together, but you should know more than anyone that you make us happy too. You complete us, however cheesy that sounds. We still need you and we know you still need us."

He didn't reply, but I could see the answer in his eyes. I'd been seeing it for weeks. He needed us just as much as we needed him.

"I miss you," I continued. "And Floyd misses you, too. It's just not the same without you."

I wasn't even close to being finished, but Dylan already interjected, "I know and... I agree, but we can't. Look what happened. We tried to be as secretive as we possibly could, but it still went wrong! Look at Olivia. I don't think there's nothing wrong with her being in love with a teacher, because she's old enough to decide for herself, but it's better this way, her and Mr. Rosenberg apart, because their relationship is against the rules after all. Everyone almost found out and got Mr. Rosenberg fired, no matter how hard they tried to keep it secret. And look at your sister, Hugo! She also did all she could to keep her secrets safe, but then that nutjob Joe fucked it up. Imagine if she'd tweeted about us. Imagine what would've happened. We—"