I Still Need ✓

22. I'm accepted and pardoned from imprisonment

I wouldn't say it was awkward, but... well, it was awkward. It was obvious that my friends didn't really know what to think of it, but at least they were willing to somewhat accept it, so it could honestly have been way worse. Ruby was a bit weird about it, but she didn't bring up the subject again, probably still processing it or something—I don't know. I still found it very hard to imagine what was going through everyone's heads.

But neither Rafael nor Alissa really said anything to me until three whole days later. Suddenly, they were wordlessly following me to my locker after our last class. I didn't say anything and just let them. I was afraid I'd scare them off like stray cats. Alissa was staring at her phone, which wasn't even turned on, and Rafael fiddled with the straps of his backpack for a full minute, before he suddenly blurted, "We're sorry."

I slowly turned to him with a confused frown. "What for?"

"For... Um, I don't know."

"Okay?"

I started switching books, figuring it'd probably take a while for him to elaborate. Alissa was still mindlessly tapping the black screen, completely lost in thought. Rafael was shifting from foot to foot, glaring at the floor, and he continued to do so as they both followed me after I was done with my locker. Eventually, Alissa stopped in front of us and said, "Okay, so Rafael and I weren't nice."

I frowned again. When, in what universe, were they not nice?

"We didn't react the way we should have," she explained. "Earlier. We were total... assholes."

"Oh..." I said. "No, you weren't."

"Yes, we were," she insisted. "It obviously took you guys a lot to tell us, and you don't want anyone else to know, but you told us, your best friends, because you trust us, and we didn't even support you."

"I didn't expect you to."

"But we should have."

"It's fine," I assured her, waving the apology off.

"No, it's not, damnit!" she huffed.

Rafael dumbly nodded in agreement.

"Look," I spoke in a low voice. "Like I said, we don't expect everyone to support us. Hence why we're not exactly... flaunting it. But I swear, it's fine. The fact that you stayed is enough."

"But, Hugo..." Rafael took a step forward. "We just—"

"We want to understand," Alissa finished. "We don't want this to be... an issue. You know? This shouldn't drive us apart the way it is doing right now. I feel like we're making this a problem while it shouldn't be."

"You want to understand?" I repeated with a relieved sigh, finally knowing the reason they weren't 'supportive', as they put it. They just didn't understand. "Well, it's very simple."

They both nodded.

"When you two look at each other, when you think of each other, you feel... happy. Right?"

Alissa nodded again, but Rafael shrugged and she hit him with a dark glare, which made him grin mischievously. I chose to ignore this and explained, "That's what I feel like with Dylan and Floyd. I used to really beat myself up over it. I was with Dylan, but I still had these really strong feelings for Floyd. And it just felt like it was so wrong. I felt like I was somehow not being truthful to Dylan. You get this, right?"

"Yes, I do," Alissa said right away. "If I started liking another guy than Rafael, I think I'd feel horrible."

"Same," Rafael said, before frowning and correcting himself. "Well, if it were a girl."