Friendzone Fever

Chapter One - Self Diagnosed With Friendzone Fever

Self Diagnosis: I've got it bad

I, Claire Parker have Friendzone Fever. What is this life ruining plague formally known as Friendzone Fever you ask, well let me tell you. It is the corrupt workings of a higher party which lead to me being born to always and I repeat always being put in the FRIENDZONE!!!

One boy even had the audacity to put me in the family zone. His exact words were " You know I'm always going to be protective over you, you're like a little sister to me."I mean seriously!?!, I know I'm not the most genetically blessed person in the world but am I that repulsive to cause someone to stoop so low. To unknowingly allow them to play around with my romantically infatuated heart only to follow up with the five words every girl dreads to hear their love interest say. " You are just a friend."

My first encounter with this atrocious disease was in year seven. I was an emotional wreck. Solely because my first actual crush, Logan Ross broke my tiny naive heart by leading me on only to be left in the friendzone. Can you even think to imagine the personal humiliation I felt following him around like a puppy dog only to be told we were just friends. What made it worse was that year we were studying Romeo and Juliet and as I stated before, I was emotionally unstable after trying to recover from my non existent breakup with Logan. So when my teacher, Mrs Rogues asked me what my opinion on love was I completely lost it. My exact words were and I quote.

"Is this a joke, who do you work for? Actually I know exactly who you work for you're an enemy of progress. Trying to publicly humiliate me. You will not get away with this Lisa Rogues and YES I just said you're first name...and NO I don't care but you should because that's not the only thing I know about you." I mimicked an evil cackle I once saw in a movie before following up with "I know where you live" I squinted my eyes and stood there staring at her for approximately three minutes before I proceeded to slowly walk out of the classroom creepily not breaking eye contact just to add extra effect.

Long story, short I got suspended for two weeks and poor Mrs Rogues transferred instantly from Sterling High School. I partially blame my serious case of Friendzone Fever but my cycle came a few days after which would explain the severe mood swings I had that day.

Surprisingly my parents were quite understanding with the whole emotional fiasco and were there to console me. My mum even apprised me of the fact that that there would be other boys and I believed her. Looking back on things I now realise that when we embraced in that hug she and I were both oblivious to the fact that the universe was out to get me. It had a vengeance to mercilessly destroy any shred of newfound happiness in my non existent love life. But now that I'm older I'm going to make sure that things are going to change, Claire Parker will no longer be in the friendzone. I'm mature and wiser now. I have obtained a very smart and sensible mechanism I believe will be the antidote to this fever.

Hello Google...