The End Is Where We Begin

Chapter Eighteen - Now I'm Really Fucking Confused

(Pete's Point Of View)

I blink rapidly, taking a deep breathe and shaking my head. After I become conscious of my surroundings, I notice a cup of orange juice in my hand.

Huh? I could've sworn I was just talking with Brendon and Andy...or I'm just that fucking insane. I'll go with insanity.

"Pete! Yoo-hoo! You there!" Jordyn shouts waving her hand in front of my face.

"Huh? What?" I shake my head looking at her.

"I was calling you for five minutes and you just stood there staring at the wall. Are you okay?" She asks with concern on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I respond shaking my head, putting the orange juice away, " I could've sworn I was just talking to Andy and Brendon, explaining to then that you kissed me."

"Me? Kiss you? I would never and you weren't talking to Andy or Brendon ever. You just walked out if your room and straight to the kitchen."

I did it again, didn't I?

"But...I swear that happened."

"It didn't Pete. Alright? Calm down, please. Before your dick falls off." Jordyn chuckles shaking her head.

"I know it did though..."

"It didn't," she sighs, "You've been doing that a lot lately."

Yup, I did it again.

"Doing what?" I ask looking at her confused.

"That."

"What's...that?"

"Zoning out and imagining things that never happened. Like, a realistic day dreaming or something." She explains.

"Yeah...I'm really starting to get confused. I don't even know anymore."

Jordyn may be right though, I've been "dreaming" things lately. It's one thing and it turns out something quite the opposite. I don't even know what's reality and what's not any more, but I have a feeling I'm in reality now. I know it.

"I think you need to go to therapy for that, it's getting out of hand." She suggests.

"No, therapy won't do anything. They'll just put me on some drug and send me on my way."

"Well anyway..." Jordyn sighs, "Uh...I was wondering if you wanted to go see Patrick with me because I'm going, since you haven't seen him for awhile now?" She asks changing the subject.

For awhile? I just saw him the other night, I gave him this long ass speech like thing, I saw him have another fucking seizure. How couldn't that have been real?

"Oh...uh...yeah I do. Just let me get ready." I answer and head back to my room sighing deeply.

I swear, if I have another fucking day dream like episode thing, I don't know what I'll do because this is getting ridiculous.