AN: I'm sorry in advance, this imagine is really sad, but I had to write it ya know?
Writing has always been a way for me to let out all of my pent up emotions, and I needed to be able to write this. I needed this feeling to leave.
So here's your warning.
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**Your P.O.V.** {Loosely based off of Dodie Clark's song "A non love song from nashville"}
You know that feeling that you get when you're genuinely happy. It's a warm fuzzy feeling that starts in your chest, and soon completely takes over your whole body. It's a euphoric experience, almost out of body. That my friends was what it was like being with Lip.
We were laying on the couch in my apartment, the pitter-patter of Chicago rain, was the only sound in the room, other than our slow steady breathing, and our almost synchronized heartbeats.
My head was laid on his bare chest, and he had an arm wrapped around my waist.
And that was it.
We didn't talk, we just laid in one another's arms, too wrapped up in thought to speak.
That's the thing with Lip, he didn't have to even say anything to comfort me, his present was enough to scare away all my inner demons. When I was with him, I didn't get lost in all of the negative thoughts, and depression never seemed to try and take my body over.
Sure some days I would feel it creeping in on me, but I genuinely believe that after YEARS of torment I might have it under control, and I had Lip to thank.
"Hey, Lip?" I said softly.
"Hmm," he replied looking down at me.
"I love you," I said, his eyes widening. He lets out a sigh before nodding and planting a kiss on my forehead.
I close my eyes worried about what he was thinking; that was the first time I had ever told him that. We had been seeing eachother officially for 3 or 4 months now, and I genuinely that what Lip and I had was love, but now I'm thinking that maybe it's not on his part.
I sigh.
Jesus what did I just do?
Present Day I was laying sprawled out on the couch in the exact position I was the night I stupidly told Lip that I loved him.
I say stupidly because he didn't feel the same, which prompted us to break up. He told me that he couldn't handle a real relationship right now, and that he thought what we had was just casual.
And let me tell you, that hurt, it really fucking hurt.
I stupidly fell for the blonde headed boy without looking to see where I'd be landing.
When he said he needed space I did exactly that. I don't think I could ever bring myself to look at him again.
I mean what made me think that he, the gorgeous bad boy from the south side, would EVER fall for me, the alternative girl, who traveled too far from home, and had SERIOUS mental problems. Why did I ever think he'd actually want me? He had enough baggage of his own, he didn't need mine as well.
I roll over, feeling a tear slip out of my eyes. My depression was back again, and at an all time high.
It seemed like it never actually went away, like it just laid dormant inside of me waiting on something like this to happen, to drag me back in again, like my brain never wanted to see me happy.
I hoped, no, I prayed that that wasn't the case. I wanted so desperately to be happy, and I thought I had found it, but I guess not.
That my friends is why we don't trust fate, because I now know from experience, she's NEVER that kind.
As much as it hurt to admit, Lip will be just a memory now.
Just a memory, of a happy holiday.
- -- AN: SO THIS BOOK HAS 2000 READS AND THAT BLOWS MY FREAKING MIND. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.
well would you look at that. So far I've been able to keep up with my writing schedule.
So I start my sophomore year on Wednesday, and like the idiot I am, I signed up for all Pre AP classes AND AP psychology. Wish me luck!
