Wild Love

04.

Milani

"It's so fun, I've only done one show, but it was great. Everyone here is amazing and loving and I just am super happy, possibly the happiest I've ever been. "

Face timing my brother is probably my favorite thing to do, and I haven't done it at all on this whole trip. He is like my rock, he always keeps me doing the right things, and I just love him.

"That's great, if this is what makes you happy then I want you to do this for a good while."

With him in LA and me in Atlanta, we never really get to see each other. My mom in a small town in Georgia and then Jalen in Atlanta keeping me tied down and broken, I just want to make a run from Atlanta sometimes.

I know that with all Jalen's people he would probably find me, but I think now' Amy chance.

"Yeah, I want to do it for a good while."

"After your tour, you should come over here for a little and visit." I grin, knowing that I know something he doesn't.

"Why you looking like that?"

"Nothing, nothing. Yeah, I wanna come over there. I miss you and the LA vibes." I said smiling.

I was sitting on the couch with my earbuds in by myself until D.C. walked in while I was talking and looked at me like I had two heads.

I rolled my eyes and showed him my brother on my phone screen he had an 'aha' moment before coming over here and joining our conversation taking one of my earbuds.

We kept talking and laughing while they caught up on things. I tried hard not to fall asleep so I left D.C. and went to my bunk, later falling asleep while talking to my brother.

Matt

Staring at people while they sleep is weird, right?

For some reason I can't wrap my head around that while I'm looking at her. She stayed longer than I did after my first show.

I went straight to sleep, and was gone. She has priorities though, something I'll probably never have because I don't have a life like her.

She has it perfect, she has her family that cares, her boyfriend that she falls asleep to on FaceTime, while I'm sitting here wishing that was me.

She's beautiful, and has no flaws.

I look at her a while longer wishing I could hold her, before shutting my curtain and turning over falling asleep.

We got to the hotel at our next destination around noon, this was when I realized that I had like a schoolboy crush on her.

You know when you like someone but don't want them to know so you start being mean. Then when they get hurt you're the first by their side because you can't  help but care? Yeah, that's me.

She looked fairly upset the whole day but while we were almost there I noticed that she was crying, I mean balling.

Justina was just sitting trying to comfort her, but I don't think it was working. I wanted to just walk over and comfort her and make her feel better, but I couldn't.

I wanted to tell her everything will be alright, and that I'll always be there, but I couldn't.

She continued to cry but there was nothing I could do about it.

When we got to the hotel there were a few rooms for our squad with three bedrooms in a room then there's a living room and kitchen.

We were all circled around our producer in the lobby waiting to hear the few names that mattered to us. The following few things that came out of his mouth made my heart skip a few beats.

I watched his lips closely as they moved saying words that made me react two complete opposite ways on the inside and out, "Room 451: Emanuel, Milani-" well now she's going to go and fall for him because there's no way I'm getting in that room with her and Justina being the only girls on our team, I cut him off with my thoughts before hearing what he said next, "And Matt." On the outside I frowned while on the inside I almost died of happiness.

Everyone waited in the lobby for him to assign everyone to a room and give a few people their room keys. He gave Milani the two keys because apparently she's the most responsible? Once he released us Milani and I both started running towards the Elevators.

Watching her run with her two big bags was probably the funniest thing I've ever seen, with her being so small and the two bags weighing more than her she started to struggle more and slow to a power walk then we ended up walking side by side.

She finally talked to me which made me want to just engulf her in a hug when she looked up at me with her bloodshot eyes, and hoarse voice she looked so innocent and shattered, "Is there any way you could, like, help me not die?" I laughed and shrugged before replying.

"I don't want to, but I'll have to learn to tolerate you so I guess I  can take one." She nodded her head and handed me her duffle bag before looking down and continued walking towards the elevators. We finally made it and I was feeling bad for making her even more upset knowing that she had already had a bad day, then a few hours passed and next thing I knew Justina was standing in our living room yelling at me.

"How could you be so stupid and insensible! You already knew that she was having a bad day then saying something to make her think yet another person wants to hurt her was the most jack ass type thing you could've done! Now she's in my room crying because you've hurt her feelings, yet again. I know you like her but you need to find a better way to express it." She yelled all in one breath before walking put and slamming the door.

Damn Matt, there you go again hurting people you love.

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There you have it, sorry I took so long to update I've been dealing with lots of things lately. I want to know, what are your opinions on self harms (in a reading manner)?

- What do you think is wrong with Milani?

- Their room arrangements?

- Matt saying what he did even after knowing Milani was upset?

- Did Justina just open a large can of beans?

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love you all, tell me what you think!

•blakelyxx