I'm Their Fuck Buddy (BTS Fanfic)

Chapter 9

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I look at my watch and it's already 3:20 am and I'm here sitting in the swing alone, I mean. I'm not alone, I have the wind, the things that is surrounding around me, my shadow and the moon

Things like this makes me calm down, it makes me forget of who and what I am. It makes me think that.. What if dad haven't died? What if mom was brave enough to stop it? What if my my step-dad have not done it...? What if I had a simple life? Me going to school everyday, smiling, talking, laughing and mingling with friends.. But no, My life is a fucking living hell.

Suddenly the feeling that I hated the most started acting up

Pain.

I hate this. I hate crying. I hate living. I hate myself. I regret being born. I regret continuing to live. I regret everything. I regret myself.

While feeling the wind, I also felt my heart aching in so much pain.

I held my chest and looked down while closing my eyes

"Don't cry" I inhale and exhale so that I can control myself. But whatever I do, my tears started falling and I gave up from stopping it.

"Just this time" I whisper and let myself cry in the middle of the windy and cold night.

Why can't I live in a normal way?
Why does it have to be full of pain?

**

Not having a tint of sleep I walk around the city 9 in the morning.

I didn't bother sleeping, I let myself out until 5 and then I started walking around at 6 and now it's 9.

Good thing I still have a little money that I was suppose to use on jennie in our out day but suprisingly, she didn't let me spend that much, she didn't buy that much. Just the ice cream and the karaoke that I spent for.

I stop by my favorite restaurant and walk inside

"Ahjumma! Can you give me ramen please?" I told the ahjumma

"Coming!" She shouted back

I really like this restaurant. It's comfortable here

As I wait for the kimchi I notice some dudes kept looking at my direction of course, I'm aware of it.

Ever since jennie was left with me, I have learned to be aware of my surroundings in order to protect jennie. But before jennie and I lived in together, I didn't care about my surroundings, especially myself.

They can check me out but they can never ever touch me.

"Uhm.. miss?" She called out to me and I turn my head to her

"Yes?" I reply in a manner way.

"Uh.. Someone wants to have your number" She said

"Who's that someone?" I asked her

"Him" She pointed to the guy and I looked at him. He looked back at me and he waved and gave him a sarcastic smile before turning back to the girl

"Tell him that.." I came closer to her and she comes closer to me "I'm a lesbian and I have a girlfriend." She stand up properly and looked at her "Can you do that?" I say and wink at her and she nods then she walks back to the guy

Then ahjumma arrives with my ramen "Finally, thank you ahjumma" I say to her

"Aigoo, just eat my dear. Call me when you want some more" She says and patz my head

"Is it for free?" I say jokingly

"Aish of course, for you" She gigglez

"Ayyy, ahjumma. It was just a joke, I'll pay before I leave" I chuckled, never thought she'd agree.

"Alright, enjoy eating" She says and starts walking away

"Thank you ahjumma!" I shout at to her and she just waved her hand from behind. Then I started digging in my ramen

"Miss?" Someone called up and I looked up and it was the girl again from before

"Yeah?" I asked while the food is still in my mouth

She almost laughz but she stopped it and made a sorry face. awh. Before speaking I swallowe the food.

"It's alright to laugh" I say and giggle while wiping my mouth "So what did he say?" I ask then she gave me a piece of paper then bowed before leaving

Without thinking twice, I open the paper and read it

Hey, Are you really a lesbian? You don't look like one though haha. but seriously. You look cute and hot at the same time that it made me wonder that why did I just saw you just now? lol. I really wanna get to know you haha :)  if it's alright with you. We could be friends? or maybe more than that? ahah joke. Send me a message back ;) oh! and here's my number **********

It says.

I look the the guy and he was looking at me. Was he staring at me while I was reading the paper?

I raise my eyebrow and crumble the paper and put it in my pocket then continue eating my delicious ramen.

Duh. You're aiming for the wrong girl.

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