Memoirs of a Not So Average B****

Earliest Memory

I was about three years old, I think? My mother was dating this guy, his name was Marcos. Soon he'd become my step dad. Marcos has a brother, well half brother. Different dad same mom, just like my little brother and sister & I. Eugene was about 5'7 and was like 40 at that time, he had a black beard and mustache, black hair, and he always dressed like a bum. I'm talking about holes in all his shirts, random logo tees, some dingy looking khaki shorts, and holes in tidy whities. Eugene was a very peculiar man, he was very well with kids, very nice to them, always gave them what they wanted. He was single, he had married before and had 2 kids of his own but by this time they were grown high school kids. His being so nice to children got to the point where everyone around us that knew him thought he was retarded because it was like kids took advantage of him. Little did everyone know it was the other way around... or so we think they didn't know... Marcos on the other hand was very strict, hardheaded, had anger issues, but had common sense and didn't get manipulated easily. In other words, he seemed like a normal guy his age. Marcos had short black hair, wore glasses, and had a built body, he used to be a soccer player, and he always looked mad, he never smiled in pictures.

Every time my mom and Marcos went out on a date they'd leave me at Marcos apartment with his brother, Eugene. I'm guessing that's how everything started. I can't remember... That day however, I do remember. It was a morning, my mom wasn't at Marcos apartment, but I was, along with Marcos and Eugene. Marcos was doing something in the kitchen that morning, and Eugene was taking care of me. Eugene's room was by the kitchen. I was playing in the living room when Eugene told me to go in his room. He sat me on his bed and that's when it happened. It had already happened before, I don't remember how or why, but I was aware that it happened before. I was too young to know what was going on so I didn't think much of it. I just sat there while he dug his way through me with his disgusting fingers.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Hey why is the door locked?!" said Marcos. Eugene quickly took his fingers out of me and made me look like I was normal and nothing happened, he replied "I wasn't aware it was locked my bad." Still, I was just sitting there on the bed while Marcos came in and told Eugene to not lock the door. Once he was gone he locked it again anyways... and continued to dig through me. That's all I remember from that day, and that's my earliest memory of all this abuse. I can't understand why this is such a strong memory that has stuck with me through all these years. i can still even remember some of the decor in that damn apartment. I wish I knew what started it all, when was the first time this happened and I lost all my innocence?

What disturbs and confuses me even more is, what happened to Marcos? He seemed to be somewhat protective of me, what made him turn on me?