Markson Part 4

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#### JACKSON'S POV

Haven't talked to Mark for a few days. He always seemed to rush off after practice ever since the day he said he was going for a check-up. What if something happened during the check-up? 

Is he going to be alright?

But whatever it is, I can't talk to him for a while because I'm trying to help him get through this 'phase'. Even if he doesn't get through it, I can't possibly fall for Mark that way. I'm a guy. I like girls... don't I?

Time was 11pm. Mark came through the doors and he looked a little drunk. As I saw how he wobbled around unstable, I rushed to help him.

"Yah! Did you drink?" I yelled at him.

He looked at me and squinted his eyes a little.

"Jaaackson...." he said.

"What! Let's go back to your room. Haish what made you drink so much?!" I said and helped him onto the bed.

As I took off his jacket for him, he pulled on my arm making me lose balance and fall on him. I tried to pull myself up again but Mark had a tight grip on my body.

"I'm not crazy. Why does everybody think I am" Mark slurred.

"Who said you're crazy?"

Our faces were close but I couldn't help move it away because of his alcoholic breath.

"Just because I like boys does it mean I'm crazy? Huh?!" Mark started crying.

I desperately loosened his grip and pulled myself up.

"You're a man. BE a man. Stop crying" I told him.

He started covering his face with a pillow. Afraid he would suffocate to death, I pulled the pillow away. He got up and hugged me. It wasn't the normal hug but he layed his cheeks on my chest and hugged my waist.

I know I shouldn't let him, but I let him stay for a while. Not long after, he laid back on the bed and fell asleep in an instant. I thought maybe I should clean up the place a little bit. While I was hanging his coat, I notice a slip of paper and a packet of medication.

"Take ON, PRN (at night, as and when needed).. Sleeping pills?!" I gasped.

Immediately I put it back in the coat and went out.

** The Next Day

I knew Mark would wake up with a headache so I made hangover soup for him. He woke up pretty late so I had time to make it before he got up. I left him a note and left to meet my friend in one of the cafes.

**

"Hey Jackson! Haven't seen you for so long!!" Jessica said and hugged me.

Jessica was one of the popular girls in my school. Almost every guy had a crush on her, even me. But I was priviledged enough to be her friend.

"Hey!!" I hugged her back.

Our conversation sailed smoothly until she started talking about her brother.

"He started straying away from the family and his friends. It was very scary to see him like that.." she said.

"That's not good, then what did you do?" I asked.

"Well I started talking to him, and in the end I found out that my brother is a homosexual"

"WHAT?!"

"He was suicidal too.. That made me even more scared."

"Suicidal? Why?"

"Because he fell for his best friend. When some people found out, they kept bullying him. He thought we wouldn't support him so he felt alone.."

"It's that serious?"

"Yeah, thank god we were early to detect it. Or I would have lost my brother.."

"So what do you think of gays?" I asked her.

"I think they're normal people like us. They eat, sleep and fall in love. Is the same thing.."

Normal people huh?.. What if Mark is suicidal too?! And the sleeping pills that I found.. What if.. OH SHIT I BETTER GET BACK TO THE DORM.

**

"MARK!" I grabbed the guy.

"H-hey.. what's up..?" he looked stunned.

"Are you okay?!" 

"I think so.. why?"

I grabbed him out of the dorm and pushed him against the wall. I started searching in the pockets of his jacket  and pants for his pills. After I found it, I took it and threw it away.

"Jackson! What are you doing?!" he tried to retrieve it.

"STOP IT JACKSON. Are you insane?!" he yelled into my face.

"What are you doing taking those pills?! You're the crazy one. What if you died? I don't want to lose you okay!" I yelled back.

Mark started tearing up. Oh no, I hated the sight of him crying, it made my heart ache. 

Pulling him into a hug, he desperately pushed me away and ran down the staircase.

"MARK!" I chased.

Mark stopped on one of the levels and fell down on his knees. He started crying even more while covering his face. I panicked at the sight of him being so defeated and weak.

"Stand up. You're a man. Don't act like a pussy" I said harshly.

"SHUT UP. Y-you don't u-understand me" he stuttered.

I sat beside him and waited for him to calm down. When he did, he stared straight into my eyes.

"I could finally have some peace of mind when I took the pills Jackson. Now that you threw it away, do you have any idea how hard it will be on me? Have you ever thought about that? I haven't had a good sleep in months.." 

"I didn't know Mark. I'm sorry. I was afraid you would overdose on the drugs and leave me" I tried.

"What do you care? You wouldn't even listen to me when I had something to say"

"Say it Mark. Tell me now.."

"Forget it" he stood up and walked away.

I've never felt so much emotions at a time.

Confusion, heartache, pity. All these emotions made me want to chase after him but I wouldn't know what else to tell him.

**

Days went by without us talking to each other. Mark looks worse than ever, maybe because he couldn't sleep for most nights. I really wished he didn't take the pills but now that I see the effects of it, I regret throwing it away. At least with it, he didn't look so tired all the time. Poor Mark.

"Mark, can you get me a drink?" JB requested because he was busy editing something.

"I'll get it!" I told him.

Mark just stared of into blank space. Instead of coming back with a cup, I brought another one for Mark.

"Here" I handed it to him.

He just shook his head.

"Mark, are you okay?" JB asked, suspicious of our actions.

He didn't hear.

"He's fine" I answered for him.

JB didn't look convinced.

"Mark! Answer me." 

Finally, he looked up.

"Err oh.. yes"

"That's weird, you look very out of it these few days. Worse than last time. Are you sure?"

"Yes"

Satisfied, he walked away. I guess I was the only one who knew that our Mark wasn't okay. I was starting to miss talking with him. But what scared me the most was that, I was thinking about his feelings about me more than I should.

To be continued

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