attack on titan x reader

Chapter 29

(Y/n)'s. P. O. V.

I stood in front of the titans bodies watching as tears streamed down the monster and soaked into the ground. The titan smoke fogging the air I never noticed hanji jump from her horse and run up to me.
"(Y/n)! Are you ok?!" She asked looking all over my body worried I was hurt.
"I'm...fine " I said looking up to her still awestruck by the events that just took place.
"What... what's wrong?" She asks furrowing her eyebrows together.
"It... the titan," I said mumbling trying to et my thoughts together
"It... talked"
"It...
...It cried" I said looking up to her confused.
She looked at me with serious eyes , the gleam in them was subtle but not subtle enough to not take notice, she knew something...
"It's... it's probably just the stress getting to you (y/n)... come on you need to refill on swords and gas." She said helping me up and taking me back to my horse.

We continued on ,avoiding titans whenever possible and killing when necessary but I couldn't focus my mind on the expedition, my mind was racing with questions and thoughts but I had to set those besides, my duty is to the scout regiment ((((side not as I'm writing this I want to say "but I have a duty to my heart" like in mulan but I don't wanna be a turd))))

*lowkey time skip brought to you by my cats big butthole*

(Still your p. O. V. )
We pushed on and as the sun set the commanders had us set up camp within an old community. Houses that had once had a thriving population residing within them were left to rot , old tables still set with dinners and photos of loved ones showed how quickly the people rushed from their homes once they heard news of the titans, but blood stains and corpses showed that not all the people made it. Scouts littered the streets as each of us slowly made it towards different buildings ,while others went to higher grounds to keep watch. I was informed earlier that tonight I would be taking watch with someone else at an old tower.
After setting my things down and putting my horse in its make shift stable I started my walk towards the tower ready to take watch. "Cadet (y/n)" I heard from behind me, recognizing commander Erwin's voice I turned around and saluted. "Sir." I said keeping my stance.
"At ease soldier, are you on your way to the tower for watch ?" He asked as I eased my posture and continued walking with him by my side "yes sir"
"Perfect, then I shall walk with you" he said as he picked up his pace to be by my side.
The two of us went to the top of the tower and relieved the past soldiers of duty, them saluting and thanking us while handing over the necessary items for the watch. I stood on the balcony of the tower with commander Erwin by my side. While we were meant to be silent and watching for danger, the both of us could feel the pressure of conversation, with the night silent and only a few lights lit by cadets, along with the one between the two of us, we felt uncomfortable. I knew I couldn't just ask my commander how his day was, so I decided to keep quiet, but he had other ideas.
"I'm sorry (y/n)" he said keeping his eyes locked on the trees miles away from us, sweeping his gaze looking for any movement.
"I'm sorry sir?" I asked confused slightly turning to face him.
"I'm sorry, ... about Levi " he said with his eyes still locked on the titan territory.
"Oh" I said feeling the emotions I had forgotten about come back up causing my chest to heave and my cheeks to blush. "With all due respect I don't believe you are in the position to be apologizing, I don't see how his actions were your fault" I said trying my best to keep my emotions within me.

(Switch to 3rd person P. O. V. )

Erwin looked to his side seeing you with tears brimming in your beautiful (e/c) eyes. Seeming like crystals in the moonlight he wanted to turn to you and wipe away the tears telling you how he would never hurt you, but he didn't, because he knew he caused this pin to you. He made Levi end your relationship, ultimately causing you the pain you felt now, and although he wanted to hold you close he knew that it was his fault for your emotions to be so negative. But... at the same time, he felt it was in appropriate to not offer a shoulder to cry on in your time of need. Erwin turns to look at you and says"(Y/n) ... I don't know why Levi would leave someone as caring and beautiful as you, but I do know that right now you have ... tunnel vision, your only seeing darkness ,but in the end,... you'll see the light, and if you still feel this way in a year, and don't see the light, then that just means that the light isn't ready to be seen, but that doesn't mean it's not there, time will heal your wounds..." they stay silent for a while letting his words soak in.
"I'm sorry, I understand I'm no philosopher ,but the words I speak are the words I mean to be true". He says as he turns back to his duty.
"Thank you commander" (y/n) says as she wipes away her tears getting back to her job. The silence is there, but now it's comfortable, softened by the words of her superior.