Confessions of A School Slut: A Story about Slut-Shaming ✓

Chapter Eighteen (Part Two)

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I exited the sick room only when the school got over. And when I did, I did not meet a pretty sight. When I returned to the bus, everyone stared at me like I was a rapist. Disgust filled their eyes. Every seat that I passed by, the person sitting beside it would keep their bag on it, making their intentions clear. They didn't want me to sit with them. Thus, similar to the time when I returned after encountering Sameer in the cafeteria, I sat all alone with nothing but loneliness beside me.

I sat way in the back, with only three rows of seats behind me. But all of them were usually used by the boys so it didn't really matter. Not that they didn't look at me in a strange fashion either. Some with disgust, too. After all, wasn't I a bisexual? Hadn't I just committed a crime? I had tried to kiss a girl. I had tried to make out with her. I had forced her to come to a restaurant with me. I would have done more had I received the chance.

It was when the bus had crossed almost a quarter of the journey that Kush came and sat beside me.

"If you've come here to spite me, then please don't. I've already had too much of it today," I said curtly.

"I was here to talk. If you wanted to," he replied softly. I didn't bother to say anything in return but stared outside the window like I had been previously doing.

"You know," he began after a few minutes of silence. "You shouldn't take these things to heart. Such things happen. You just have to face them and be strong."

I stayed silent.

"In fact, you should be glad," he added a moment later. "When we go off to college, there's a fair chance we'd have to go through ragging. You're preparing yourself to handle that properly."

"If you're trying to cheer me up, then it isn't working. All of this sounds like a bunch of crap," I told him finally.

"It doesn't matter because you're not alone in any of this," he replied.

Alone?

Wasn't I alone, really? So many people had done so much to me. It would probably take just one wrong kind of rumor before the people who call themselves my friends would back off.

"What if I really am alone?" I asked him back, almost choking on my words. He winced.

"No you're not, Riddhika," he answered. "You have your family, Isha, Lia, Manas, Naman, too and if you'd allow it then me."

"But I can't allow you," I whispered as a fresh batch of tears prepared itself to fall. We weren't looking at each other, but I knew he could see them too. He held my hand tightly. I didn't push him away. "You didn't even listen to me when I told you how Saina probably deserved whatever happened with her," I added a moment later. "She hurt me in so many different ways. She spread rumors about me, told everyone I worked in a strip club, and made a hate group on Facebook. I had almost tried to commit suicide because of her. I still have the marks on my hand, the ones that I don't allow anyone to see! Yet, you didn't understand what I was going through. You simply sided with her, and left me out." I silently sobbed. His grip tightened.

"I know Riddhika, I know," he whispered in a calm voice. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did, but it was Saina. She needed me at the moment. I couldn't simply let her go either."

Slowly, those tears began to lose their home. They fell down, and with them fell my confidence, too. I realized no matter how circumstances ended up to be, I could never be fully happy with myself if I ever hung out with Kush. I was still upset and hurt with all the things he had said. The wounds from those words hadn't healed yet. I didn't even know if they ever would. I also knew now that if he ever had to choose, he would always choose the other person. Not just him, but everyone else around here. These people had a history. They had been by each other's sides since years. Me? I was just a newcomer who couldn't even interact with her friends properly, let alone with strangers. Who knew that if Manas, the guy who is supposed to be my best friend, won't end up choosing the other guy if he ever had to choose? Who knew where he even was today? Who knew if he had a girlfriend someday and she didn't like me, then he wouldn't break things off with me to be with her?

"I wish I hadn't said any of those things to you," Kush whispered, breaking through my thoughts.

I wiped off my tears, and looked at him for the first time that day. His face was pain-stricken. He truly regretted saying whatever he said that day. Yet, he didn't apologize.

At that moment, when I looked into his eyes, I realized he really did like me. Even after almost so long, he did. It hurt to look at him that way. It hurt to do this to him every time. But more than any of that, it hurt a lot to let him hurt me every time.

"You know, I guess now would be a perfect time to say that crying girls make me uncomfortable," he said a moment later. I chuckled.

"I shouldn't have acted like a jerk to you. But don't fret, it'll all be okay soon," Kush added as he pulled me closer to him. I kept my head on his shoulder and nodded, fresh tears pooling up in my eyes. "Everything will be alright soon." He softly stroked my hair and that is how the rest of the ride home went.

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A/n: Things are finally better between Kush and Riddhika. Did she forgive him, then? Oh, I hope so! Although, on a serious note, don't you hate Aisha already? I kind of do! She had no business doing whatever she did, and yet, look what a mess she made! What on earth did she want from our sweet fourteen year old? *sobs*

Anyway, do let me know what you think. And don't forget to vote if you liked it. :)