Forbidden

Prologue

Here I am.
Again.

It seems to me that I spend more time here than anywhere else but it's my least favourite place to be.

Oh sorry, how rude of me.
Where are my manners?
It seems I've forgotten to introduce myself. I'm Emma, Emma Swan. I prefer to be known as just Emma but most people get that wrong. Probably because  they're stupid.
You know what the problem is with this world, the smart people are full of doubt while the stupid ones are full of confidence. Charles Bukowski said that and he's right.
You probably want to know all about my life, where I grew up and all that David Copperfield kind of crap but I don't like it so I won't tell you.
At least not right now.

Right now i'm sat in the E.R, it's almost nine and I've been here for what feels like hours. That's right, i'm back here again. Yay. Lucky me. Not.

There has to be more than this provincial life? More than sitting in hospital waiting rooms all day. I guess
not. Oh well. It's not as a f I have anything better to do with my time.

They'll probably want to keep me in overnight, under observation and all that. That's if I ever get seen to. You'd think that with all the doctors they have running around they would have time to see me. It's not like it's even that serious, it's just a little cut. If there were to see me then I could get out of there hair.
You probably want to know what I did. Well isn't it obvious? No. Oh well. I don't like to talk about it so I won't.

I guess you'll probably want to know why I did what I did. Everyone else does. The truth is I don't know. I guess there are lots of reasons really. When people ask you why like there is only one reason that's just stupid. There are lots of reasons why and they all get on top of you. It's like an avalanche. You're stuck. You feel like it's your only way out. I guess for some people it is. If they were still alive I might ask them for tips because it seems to me that I must be cursed. Cursed to live in this godforsaken world. If that doesn't make you want to slit your wrists then I don't know what will. I'm still here. I'm still alive. I'm still breathing. Believe me none of that is due to lack of trying. I've tried. I've tried so many times. Each one a failed attempt. Each one a new mark on my body. Either inside or out. Each one damaging me further in some way. I don't really care. I don't really care about anything. My one wish is that for once I might've succeeded. I didn't. Now i'm back here again.