Creating Control

Repeating Mistakes

"We went out for i-ice cream. I m-made a joke about h-him eating p-plain v-vanilla ice c-cream," I told her, laughing softly at the memory.

"Only you, Jase, only you," Ava laughed.

I could feel her gaze on me as I hide within my hands and blanket. Her hand was still petting my head softly, and I knew she still had something on her mind. I snuggled closer to her, embracing the feeling of safety I felt.

"You should call him, Jase," Ava said suddenly.

"B-but I don't want t-to bother h-him," I whimpered, tightening my grip on my blanket.

"Jasper. I know he told you that you wouldn't bother him. You need to call him," Ava spoke, her dominance coming out thick in her voice.

I whimpered at the force of it, but still spoke, "I don't n-need to call him, A-avalon!"

She looked at me with shock. I never spoke to her like that. It was her shock that made me realize what I did. Tears started to fall from my eyes at the thought of yelling at her. She didn't deserve that! I tried to bury myself in my blanket, to hide from what had happened. I was afraid of how she would respond, afraid she would be upset or disappointed.

"After I already punished you for that, Jasper."

A voice spoke from the doorway. My eyes widened at the sound--I knew who it was. Mr. Faber was here, and he heard what I said to Avalon. That made me feel even worse about what had happened, so I hid further into my blanket.

"Come on, both of you, I made some pancakes for breakfast, or lunch I guess," Mr. Faber spoke, his voice leaving no room for discussion.

Ava slid off the bed, leaving me in my blanket cocoon alone. I wanted to get up as well, to listen to Mr. Faber's order, but I felt like I had no control over my body, like I couldn't move. Mr. Faber let out a soft sigh before whispering something to Avalon. I heard the door close and footsteps near me. The bed shifted as Mr. Faber sat down next to me. His hand began to pet me, and I calmed down a little bit.

"What's going on, pet?" Mr. Faber asked, "I know you're not that disobedient on purpose."

"I... I don't know," I whimpered, not looking up at him.

"Jasper. Look at me," dominance thick in his voice.

Unable to disobey any further, I looked up at him. My eyes were red and puffy from crying, and my cheeks were tear-stained. I wanted to look away so he wouldn't see how ugly I looked, but I was unable to. Mr. Faber reached his hand to my cheek and held me there. His hand felt so warm and comforting, I leaned into it. A small purr left my lips.

"Just like a little kitten," Mr. Faber mused, smiling softly at me.

"M--S-sir," I whined softly.

"Pet, please tell me what's going on with you," he asked gently, petting me again.

"I... I'm afraid, S-sir. I d-don't want t-to go b-back in i-is-isolation," tears began to fall again as the memories raced back.

Mr. Faber gently pulled me into his arms and held me tight. He whispered softly into my ears about how he'd never make me go into isolation and how he wouldn't hurt me. Memories of her raced into my mind, but every word he spoke seemed to banish the thoughts away. Slowly, I calmed back down and let myself sink into his embrace. He was so gentle and comfortable, the opposite of her. Mr. Faber was petting me, and I purred, finally able to think a bit clearer now. And it was thanks to him.

"Shall we go eat, pet?" Mr. Faber asked, seeing I had calmed down.

I nodded. Looking up at him, I saw him glare slightly. I giggled, knowing he hated nonverbal answers, like the one I just gave him.