Strong (A Ziam/Zarry AU)

Chapter Sixteen

Zayn took a steadying breath, and reached for Harry's hands. "It needs saying love." He smiled sadly. "I'm with someone else Harry. Any ambiguity about us, any ghosts left between us need laying to rest. I need you to understand there's no going back."

"Tell me about him. My competition."

"He's not your competition. He's...great. He makes me feel special, wanted like he'd never even look at another. It's nice to know I'm enough for someone."

"That's not fair-"

"He's kind of the opposite of you, a little shy, unsure of himself almost. He's a big Keats fan. As I said he's an athlete so has an amazing body which he doesn't fill with chemicals. He's..."

"Boring? And listen I've made a lot of mistakes in my past, but I refuse to live there. You could do with doing the same."

"He's not boring! He's a really sweet guy and I feel secure with him." Zayn sidestepped Harry's comment about the past.

"Does he have a name?"

"Liam."

"Liam Payne?? Alex said he saw you with him a few weeks ago. He's not gay!"

"I'm pretty sure he's gay." Zayn couldn't help but smirk, remembering, making Harry scowl. "It's nobody's business what he is though. Do you understand what I'm saying here Harry?"

"Yes, no need to talk to me like I'm an idiot. I won't say anything to anyone.I don't like it though"

"Don't like what?"

"I may be a lot of things, I may have done a lot of things but I never acted ashamed to be seen with you Zayn. I was never anything but proud to show the world I was yours."

"I didn't come here to talk about Liam I came to talk about us." Zayn breathed.

"Do you love him?"

"No. of course I don't. It's too early." He threw his hands up; annoyed with the direction this was taking.

"It only took us a week." Harry quietly said, like he was laying down an ace.

"We were kids." Zayn dismissed, "The potential is there for me to fall for Liam. You asked!" he added seeing the look of utter devastation on Harry's face.

"I did indeed. Doesn't stop it hurting though."

"I know. I just need to say one last thing and then I'll go. I'm not you. I'm with Liam now and I'd never do anything to hurt him. I want to be your friend and still hang out but I can't do that if you are going to keep trying to get me back."

"Tell me you don't love me and I'll stop. It's that simple."

"I need the bathroom."

"Yep thought not." He heard Haz mutter as he made his way to the restrooms. He splashed his face with water and was staring at his reflection in the mirror when Harry walked in.

"Here." He handed Zayn a wrap.

"Why are you giving me this?"

"It'll help the conversation flow. Help you to say what you think needs saying. It's Peruvian Flake, no comedown, no racing heart. Just have a bump."

Zayn wasn't really in the mood to party but he saw the need in Harry. He needed something to take the edge off this conversation and he didn't want to do it alone. Zayn figured that Harry wasn't ready to admit he needed it and whilst he normally wouldn't help Haz delude himself this was going to be rough enough on him with Zayn appearing judgemental. So he opened the wrap and dipped his key into the cocaine, scooping out a little heap. Just before he brought it to his nose he looked Harry in the eye "I don't love you anymore."

Harry just laughed "You don't even believe that, why should I? But ok, a deals a deal, I'll back off."

Zayn nodded once and brought the key to his nose. This is where his memory changes into disjointed flashes.

A flash of Harry telling someone that he'd lost the love of his life so he deserved a blowjob, then turning to a laughing Zayn and winking. A flash of what seemed like a really intense conversation about cats with Cara Delevingne. Many flashes of raising drinks to his lips and trips to the toilet to 'refuel', line after line. Someone shouting "Party at mine!" A taxi journey with a group of people whom he didn't recognise. Walking through a home he'd never seen before asking "Have you seen Harry?" The naked back. Ugh. He felt truly awful. He'd call Harry as soon as he was able to life his head from the pillow, check he was ok and get him to fill in the blanks.

"I got you some water love."

Zayn screwed his eyes closed tighter for a second before peeling one open, checking the source of the voice "Fuck"

"Yeeeah."

"Did we?"

"mhm."

"Fuck"

"Mmmm."

A/N So this chapter was a bit too long so I cut it in half. I'll pop the rest up shortly. Loves ya all xxx