Strong (A Ziam/Zarry AU)

Chapter Nine

"Tell me about when you came out." Liam asked. Zayn narrowed his eyes but he knew that someone telling their story first helped some tell their own closet tale. His 'coming out story' was something he had told and retold hundreds of times, so's he knew the wording off by heart.

"I came out to my folks at 14. I was so revved up to tell them, you know adrenaline pumping. I marched into the living room one Saturday night. And whilst they where sitting there watching Xfactor I blurted it out "Mam, Dad I'm gay." All defiant like. My mum just turned from the tv and said 'Oh love, that's very brave of you to say, but we know." And turned back to watching the telly. My dad just said 'Yeah we are proud of you son. Now make us a cup of tea.' Like what I'd just told them was nothing. I went and made two of the worst cups of tea ever made by a northerner. My hands where shaking, I spilled sugar and milk everywhere." He chuckled for a moment before turning serious again "I thought it was a disaster they could tell, thought it was yet another thing to mark me as different.

I know otherwise now of course, they gave me the easiest coming out possible. It just wasn't even an issue to them. Some of the stories I've heard, through the charities, from young boys and girls are a fucking disgrace. It causes me so much pain to hear of the discrimination we still face." He finished earnestly, wanting Liam to know he had lots of experience talking with people who had, had a rough time of it.

"I guess my story has more in common with the kids you talk to than your own." Liam paused to take a steadying breath. No one but himself, his father and Louis knew about this. He'd never spoken of it since "I was sixteen, Lou and I had been fooling around for a while, I thought I was in love. I decided it was time to tell my father. Up until then me and Dad had been close, really close. I'd been fighting for nine years and under his training I'd never lost a fight, he was proud of me. I was going to Sydney for the Olympics the next year and was tipped for gold. All of this meant a lot to me, but it was my dad's world. His son 'the future of British boxing.' He was an important man on the scene, he owned the training gym and was starting to work out endorsement deals for me. I wasn't scared to tell him, more apprehensive. I knew he wouldn't have chosen this for me, and that it would upset him, but I thought his love for me, our close bond, would make him be ok with it. I couldn't have been more wrong. Long story short he beat the shit out of me. He just kept repeating over and over 'No son of mine is gonna be a fucking queer!' When he'd run out of steam he threw a towel at me to clean up the blood and said 'Best not to joke around about stuff like that, boy. People might take you seriously and you wouldn't want that...especially not in this business. Tell me you were joking.' He demand it so I said I was. We never spoke of it again. I never told anyone except Lou and to be honest I only told him because I was a mess and went to his house to calm down and have him patch me up after it happened." Liam finished, wanting Zee to understand that telling him, being this open with him was a big thing. He held Zayn's gaze as the boys eyes bore into his own.

"I'm really sorry that happened to you. You're still in now?"

Liam nodded "Lou and I finished a few months later. I tried to push all of my desires down. Dated girls, slept with loads of them...have you ever been with a woman? Or have you always known, been ok with what you are?" He asked wanting to know if Zayn understood how disgusted he was with himself at that time, and how having sex with girls only made his disgust intensify.

"I've always know and I've never judged myself for being this way. Never. So I never did the whole 'sleeping with a girl to see if I like it' thing. Well until last year." Zayn smiled to himself

"What? You fucked a woman last year?!" Liam's brow scrunched in confusion

"Yeah. Although it doesn't really count...it was Kay. It wasn't really about the sex per se more about us sharing a beautiful thing and becoming closer because of it. She's my oldest friend and her and Harry were hooking up...I got jealous he was experiencing that level of intimacy with her so I...why are we talking about me? Back to you Payne."