Forever in Sixteen Days

Day One

"We gave ourselves a chance to be happy."

It started on a Wednesday.

"So, what did you want to tell me?"

"Oh, nothing."

"You're kidding me, aren't you?"

"No, really, it's nothing."

"Xenna."

"I'll tell you after graduation. I don't want to talk about it now. I don't want to think of the complications. I just want to be happy. Even just for the last days."

"Okay, okay. I won't force you. I respect what you want."

"Thanks."

"I actually like the idea, you know. We only have about two weeks and I want to make it count, too. Make some memories."

She nodded.

What do I make of that? Of course I'll think. She's my best friend for like, five years. Maybe something happened. Something that turned things around.

Something good, I hope.

Since that day when Kenneth talked to me about the problem, I couldn't help but think of them. Kenneth and Xenna were just beginning to feel the happiness that life brings when love is mutual. Xenna's eyes were glowing. Kenneth's aura became brighter. He smiled more often, and the smiles looked real.

I always knew that they'd eventually fall for each other. There were a lot of times that I felt this spark between them. But every time I do, I say two words.

Dismiss. Release.

I told myself that I shouldn't assume things. Especially because Kenneth has a something (I really don't know what they were, I just know that they like each other and they were like, something) with another girl.

But there's this book where the characters remind me of Kenneth and Xenna. You have that book to blame for me fangirling over Xenneth. (Xenna + Kenneth = Xenneth)

I still didn't tell anything to Xenna. Because all those feels were fangirl theories. No proof, no evidence. Just observations.

After thinking about what happened during the past few days, I went back to thinking about what Xenna said to me a while ago.

"I just want to be happy. Even for the last few days."

What did she want to tell me? I mean, I get the message, the literal message. I can relate to it too, since I also want to be happy for the last days of my high school life, but my instincts were telling me something different.

I was about to move on from thinking about what Xenna said to thinking about what my instincts say when Kenneth showed up.

I approached him immediately to tell him that I'm worried for Xenna and that I'm afraid that she'll never tell me what really happened just because she doesn't want to think of the problems anymore.

"Actually, we talked last night."

"You talked last night? About the problem?"

"Yes."

"What did she say? What did you say?"

"We had this deal. We agreed to not think about the complications. To not think of what others would say. We agreed not to care about anything else. We gave ourselves a chance to be happy. For the last sixteen days."

I couldn't help but smile.

"We'll talk about the problems after. We'll work things out. Weigh the pros and cons. And then decide on what to do. Choose which path to take."

"I like it."

Kenneth smiled a little, then left.

I had something new to think about. And when I saw Xenna at the hall, the great quote crossed my mind.

"You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful."

It was in that moment that John Green's The Fault in Our Stars changed everything that I believed in about forever.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Wait, what?"

"Lynn, you were smiling like crazy."

"Sorry. I just thought of this quote from a book that I've read."

I told Xenna about the quote, and in the middle of me telling her, another quote crossed my mind.

"Wait, wait, there's another quote. I just remembered another quote. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. It's from the same book."

Xenna was speechless. Instead of saying anything, she just squeezed my hand, her eyes with the I can totally relate to that look.

I knew that she'd love those quotes. I love them to bits.

When Xenna and I saw Kenneth, I immediately told him about the quotes, and I know that deep inside, he had the same feeling.

"Remember this, you guys. When you think that the universe is against you, think of me. I'm bigger than the universe, yet I ship you!"

Xenna smiled. She always tells me that I'm fat and I'm getting bigger. So I used those to make her smile, even in the midst of the storm they're going through.

I also told the two about this person who once told me that he shares the same thoughts about Xenneth.

"It's Warren, isn't it?"

Warren is, well, you know.

I dismissed the Warren topic, because I just want to think about what Kenneth, Xenna, and I have.

We were eating lunch when we talked about it. We agreed to write about the things that happened during the last sixteen days.

Sixteen days of happiness. Sixteen days of infinity.

Sure, what we have isn't as big as what other people do, but our little infinity is enough.

"Little Infinity. I call this Little Infinity."

We talked about random things. People around. We took pictures of each other, laughed, and just had a great time.

All my life, I believed that only couples can have a forever. People who were made for each other, destined to love one another for the rest of their lives.

Today, I now believe that friendships can have a forever, too. Kenneth and Xenna shared their infinity with me. I never thought that something real like this exists. Turns out, the possibility of impossible things to happen is greater than I expected.

Even if there's this certain sad feeling inside, the feeling of not wanting the days to end, there's also this feeling, a new one. The feeling of wanting to be happy with the forever that we have within the numbered days.