As the rain pounded against the windows in my room, my mind begged for an escape. An escape from this room I'm forced to stay in from 8:30 pm to 7:00 am due to the fact I just wanted to destroy myself.
It's impossible for you to think gentle thoughts when you have a mind as loud, as wild as mine. My thoughts are like fireworks. Loud, colorful, enduring. But also terrifying. My thoughts are the reason sleep is only something I do when I must, not each night.
I'm fucking insane.
"Alexandra Delmonté?"
"Here."
As I tiredly walked through the line to get the breakfast I would only pretend to eat, my eyes glaze upon a new patient in the Meriam Hill's Psychiatric Ward (the polite way of saying mental asylum). He was tall, pale, with dark hair and eyes. He was dressed in the same white long sleeve, baby blue knit robe, and gray pajama pants as everyone else. His frame was slightly broad, but not frail. I'm not the type of person to be attracted to anyone but I must say, he was certainly good looking.
I take my tray and sit at the table across from his. I stared intensely at him until a ticklish feeling appeared in my stomach. It scared me, so I stopped.
Growing up, I didn't have friends. I had books, a father with expectations that were much too high, and a dead mother. I don't remember my mom. Although, from what my father has told me, she sounds like a real bitch. She was quite beautiful I will give her that. She had long, blonde hair, a perfect fair complexion, and eyes so green you'd think you were looking at emeralds. Unlike me, with my boring brunette hair, gray eyes and slightly olive skin. Father says we are total opposites. But I never met her so I wouldn't know.
As I walked myself to my room, the new boy sat quietly in the hallway. My eyes quickly turned away as soon as we made eye contact. The strange ticklish feeling appeared in my stomach again so I moved as quickly as possible to my room and flopped onto my bed. I began to pick at the chipping paint on my iron bed frame, letting the white specks of paint fall onto my bed sheets. As I grew more focused on removing as much paint as I could, there was a know at the door. It was the boy.
"Hello, I'm Daniel." He said, with no trace of emotion. His voice was raspy, but still soft. I bit the inside of my cheek before speaking back. "Hello." I mumbled quietly, not wanting the interaction to go much further. He walked into my room and sat at the chair in front of my desk. "Why have you been staring at me?" My whole body went tense and the fluttery, ticklish feeling in my stomach worsened. "I-".
He let out a sadistic chuckle, "I'm only kidding. I don't mind." His brown eyes met my gray ones. "What's your name, darling?" I sighed, trying to relieve the jitters and responded "Alexandra".
I cannot decide if it's smart for me to have a friend or not. Part of me wants many friends, but the other part tells me I need no one but myself. Daniel seemed intelligent enough, but in my opinion he's cocky about it. He knows his strengths. But, a part of me also wants to know more about him. Obviously he isn't shy so it shouldn't be hard to dig a bit deeper and find out more. Maybe his cockiness is just an act he puts on to hide his real insecurities. Or maybe, he's just a huge dick who happens to need constant mental care.
Medication time came and went, and I still haven't left my room and Daniel has been a constant on my mind. I'm not sure if it's his attitude or his looks, but I'm most certainly intrigued my him. I've made my mind up. I'm going to figure out what the hell his problem is. As soon as I step one foot off my bed, the lunch bell rings. I make my way to the cafeteria but stop at the door, waiting for Mr. Smug. After standing there for a few seconds, I see him making his way down the corridor. We make eye contact and he flashes me a cocky smirk. "Hello, Alexandra." He says, looking down on me with that same stupid face. I roll my eyes and glare up at him. "Don't give me that face, Daniel." He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. "You're a feisty one." I gave him an angry look before grabbing his hand and pulling him to a table in the cafeteria. "Why are you here?" I said with a harsh tone. He scrunched his eyebrows and looked at me. "Why are YOU here?" He said back with a hint of anger in his voice. I went silent. "Thats what I thought." He chuckled. "We all have our reasons." I sighed, resting my head on the table. "I'm sorry".
The bell signaling lunches end began to ring. Daniel and I both stood up and stepped away from the table. He looked at me before shoving his hands in the pockets of his robe. "Let me walk you to your room." He said, smiling a bit. Suddenly his smile became softer, more sincere than before. I nodded, trying to refrain from smiling.
I think I've finally found a friend.
