The corpse of the past

Chapter 61: Empty

Chapter 61

-Katniss-

I'm sitting in the waiting room.

I can't sit still on the chair. I'm freaking out here.

We haven't heard anything yet I'm even more worried now then I were before.

"Katniss calm down will you!" Haymitch says annoyed beside me.

He's still angry with me and says that this is my fault. And I think it is as well. I mean if I had just gotten out of the bedroom and showed Peeta that I care about him as well, maybe he wouldn't have had a breakdown like the way he did, and that caused this flashback. And then Peeta wouldn't have smashed his head into the nightstand, and he wouldn't be here in this sate.

But now someone runs up to us. Or not just one, like ten different people with five different cameras, pens and pads.

Journalists.

Okay they finally found out everything.

They all start to talk at the same time, asking different questions and I can't hear what they are saying.

"Hey back off!" Haymitch yells.

But they don't care that Haymitch is now angry.

"I said back off!" He yells, but they don't.

I put my hands to my face to cover it.

I can't deal with this. I have way too much to think about. I can't deal with these people.

And finally I have heard enough.

I jump up from the chair as stare at them.

"CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME AND HAYMITCH THE FUCK ALONE?! I'VE LOST MY DAUGHTER AND MY HUSBAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL, GIVE ME A BREAK!" I roar at them. "DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO DO BUT TO FOLLOW ME AND PEETA AROUND?! WELL IF YOU DON'T YOUR LIVES MUST BE SO BORNIG, JUST LEAVE NOW, I WANT TO MURN IM PIECE BUT YOU ONLY DESTROY EVERYTHING, JUST LEAVE!"

They all look at me. Quiet. For the first time they're actually quiet.

I feel arms on my shoulders and Haymitch helps me down in the chair again. And that's when I realize that I actually shake. I shake like crazy.

"Well... You heard her, now leave!" Haymitch says calmer then before, and definitely calmer then me.

And then they all leave.

Good. I really can't deal with them, I'm serious, they can go jump off a cliff. Their job is to annoy the shit out of us and expose our privet life. And I hate that. I absolutely hate that.

A doctor comes up to us.

"How is he?" I ask and stand up immediately.

"Well, he did lose a lot of blood and to be honest we don't know yet. We've done everything we can, but the rest is up to himself. If he don't wake up in the nearest hour, he's not gonna wake up".

My whole world falls apart. Oh my god. Peeta is gonna die. I'm gonna lose my everything.

If Peeta dies I'm gonna kill myself because then I have nothing more to live for. I really don't. I would't even be alive. Peeta keeps me alive. He's the one that makes me go on in life even though all of our losses and how our lives looked like before. Without Peeta I really would be a shell, waiting to be crushed.

I start to breathe really fast and I'm not even sure that I get air into my lungs.

"Oh god, she's turning blue, give her something!" Haymitch calls and starts to shake me.

I feel my mouth open and someone putting something into it and then I get some water. They help me swallow what they put into my mouth.

I don't know how long time it takes, but suddenly I start breathing normally, and I feel ... Empty. Empty of feelings. I don't feel anything.

What the hell did they give me?! I just can't feel anything. No anger, no worry, no sadness.

I feel myself sitting in a chair. I slowly turn my head and find Haymitch watch me closely.

"Haymitch what did you do to me?" I ask.

My voice sounds so ... Calm and easy. I've never talked in this tone before. Not ever. Okay this is weird.

"The doctor gave you calming medicine", he says. "You freaked out and started to breath so fast that you stopped breathing and turned all blue in your face".

"I can't feel anything now", I say.

"That's the point", Haymitch smiles. "They gave a pretty high dose so you'll be calm for a while now. Just try to get some sleep sweetheart, I'll wake you up if we get any news on Peeta".

I shrug my shoulders and start to make myself comfortable in the chair.

My eyes suddenly feels very heavy. Like I've been awake for days.

But if I have this medicine in my system, does that mean I can't have any nightmares? I mean, it takes away all my emotions. I can't feel anything. I'm not even scared for anything, right now.

Oh well, I don't know.

My eyes starts to flicker and I feel the dark slowly take over my body and I become one with darkness that devour me whole in the matter of a split second.

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🖋865✒️

Hey guys, second update on one day. I need to distract my mind, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I'm a total wreck, so I need distractions.

Well what did you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Vote and comment please, I really want to know :)

-Josephine xx