All Over Again • a Lexa/You Fanfiction

sixteen » thunder

Unfortunately for me, I jumped up in fright again as another crash of thunder echoed into the night, except this time, it brought on a horrible ache in my head, and I knew where that was leading to.

"Ow," I groaned, clutching my head and tearing my gaze from the Commander's. The pain was growing stronger and stronger, and it was getting harder to pay attention to the brunette's worrisome words.

"Y/N, what is it?"

I felt her hands rest on my back as I pressed my head between my knees, hoping to soothe the pain. Her hands were delicate and careful, as if she was being extra cautious with her movement. I wanted to appreciate it, but before I could, I was already beginning to remember...

My eyes suddenly shot open and I woke with a jolt. I was immediately met with a ghastly yellow glow on the ceiling and after a moment of recollection, I realised I was in bed. The candles around the room were flickering, casting a shadow across the ceiling. It was reassuring to be in a familiar place.

"Y/N," Lexa's tired voice called from beside me. I felt her shuffling slowly and I immediately felt bad for waking her up. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I turned around to face her and saw that she was now rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She looked so precious as she blinked tiredly at me, her dark eyes recovering from their interrupted rest. Ever since the fight with Ice Nation a month ago, I had been staying with Lexa in her bed because of my never-ending stream of nightmares that still haunted me. She always made me feel better. Safe.

"Was it another nightmare?" she asked, a lot more awake now.

I nodded my head, remembering why I woke up in the first place. Even when Nia was gone, she still managed to haunt me in my sleep.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows together and leaned forward, resting a hand against my head. She wiped away at my sweaty forehead and frowned before pulling me close to her. I cuddled into her chest and relaxed when I felt her rest her arms around me protectively.

"Don't apologise," she mumbled into my hair. "This is the first one you've had in days... do you want to talk about it?"

I shrugged my shoulders unknowingly as she left a kiss on my forehead.

"It was about Nia," I spoke calmly, knowing that talking about it would make me feel less heavy, in a way. "She was back and trying to hurt us again... I know she's gone, but she's done so much shit and it makes it hard to forget."

Lexa's breathing was all to be heard, and I followed it slowly. It was calming and relaxing and everything I needed to know that she was okay and not gone, like my nightmare showed.

"We're both okay," she promised. I pulled away to look her in the eyes and saw her staring right at me, a small smile on her lips. "You're safe. The nightmares won't last forever, but I think I know of something to help."

I couldn't help but mirror her expression, finding her smile contagious. "What, Lexa?"

"Count to ten. Focus on the things around you. Know your imagination and your reality," she spoke gently, reiterating what I always advised her to do whenever she awoke from any nightmares.

I stifled a small chuckle and nodded my head. "I wonder who told you that genius advice."

Lexa smiled widely. "I learnt from the best, didn't I?"

I felt my anxiousness and fear from my nightmare already disappearing as I stared at Lexa. Even half asleep, she still radiated beauty. She appeared much younger when she was relaxed and not worn down with the stresses of being Commander. I wondered how I was so lucky to have her in my life.

"I think I've found a new method anyway, but thanks, Lex," I told her before moving forward to cuddle up to her again.

I closed my eyes contently as she chuckled and wrapped her arms back around me. She was warm and comfortable and I honestly couldn't have felt as great as I did right now, resting in her arms.

"Sweet dreams, my little time-jumper," was the last thing I heard before my eyes closed.

"...Y/N, please speak to me," I heard her voice say worriedly. "Just let me know you're okay, please."

I lowered my trembling hands and looked up, meeting the Commander's eyes. Even in the darkness, I could see the glossiness of her eyes as she teared up for my wellbeing. Reassurance soon replaced her worry, as she saw I was okay. I felt a sudden urge to be close to her. My memory... It calmed the fear inside of me. It intervened with my opinion of her now...

"I'm okay." The calmness of my voice surprised the both of us. "But please, do stay."

I looked away from her after saying this, not wanting to see the surprise I knew would appear on her face. Instead, almost without thinking, I lessened the gap between us and leaned onto her shoulder, yearning for her touch. I pulled the duvet up to my neck and felt her wrap a cautious arm around my body, cradling it and providing the comfort and I didn't realise I had missed so much until now.

"I know you don't really want to speak with me, so I'll just stay here until the storm passes," she said, her voice hoarse and quiet and almost inaudible.

I chewed on the inside of my mouth guiltily, unsure what else to say. Instead, the conversation – if you could even call it that – ended quite quickly. The racket of the storm outside filled the absence of sound. I wondered if the Commander had done this once before. Stayed with me as we waited for the storm to pass. She came to me so quickly... she must have.

Even though I was so close to her, I still had these urges to be even closer. Without the awkward tension that filled the air. I knew that was a courtesy of me, and I hated it. My past life and its experiences were intervening with this one and it was filling me with so much confusion and I couldn't handle it. I wanted things that I wasn't sure I could have. Maybe the Commander was one of them. I didn't know.

"The storm sounds like it's calming down now," she spoke, pulling me from my thoughts. "Nothing to fear now."

I sighed heavily. "Good. It's raining cats and dogs out there."

There was no response from the leader, and I wasn't expecting there to be, but when I felt her stretching and moving about carefully, I sat up straight and looked to her with a puzzled expression.

"What are you doing?"

She tensed her jaw as her eyes flickered between the balcony and I. "There are no cats or dogs outside..."

It soon stuck me that she took my expression literally, and even though my heart still hurt and my brain was still fried, I somehow found the energy to chuckle at how adorable the almighty Commander looked when she was confused.

"Never mind," I told her reassuringly, and for the first time that I could remember, I felt a momentary calmness. "It doesn't matter."

//

I need to start updating more quicker lmao sorry guys

I don't really have much to say, so I hope you enjoy this chapter! ☺️💕