Prologue

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  • Dedicated to My Family, Friends and Fans :)
                                    

(SPOILERS BUT NECCESARY SPOILERS) Trigger warning: There are descriptions of suicidal thoughts, suicide, references to minor character death, self harm, child abuse and depression. If you have any sort of trigger to those things, please, PLEASE do not read. Stay safe, readers, always. Take care of yourself guys. Lots of love. ~Ishy

Dedicated to
 My family, friends and readers. Thank you guys so much for supporting me throughout everything I do. You guys will never know how much you mean to me.

A/N: Picture on the right is a wonderful piece of fanart by xXMorgannaRoseXx. I never thought this story would get this kind of attention, and seeing things you guys create brings me some serious fucking happiness. Thank you all so much <3

Prologue
“The Beginning”
Sara’s POV

‘Sometimes you have to lie to find the truth’ -Scott Westerfeld

I guess a good way to start this whole thing is to tell you a little bit of how I used to think. Because, see, here's the thing... I used to... I used to think, that people only cared about appearance. You know? Because, alright, for example, okay, say you're a good person. Alright, you're a good person. And if you smile a lot and always respond to 'How are you doing?' with a 'Very good,' a smile, and a 'How are you?' then people don't contemplate small things like why you wear long sleeve shirts in the summer time, or why your eyes are red in the morning, and they almost always accept stupid excuses like, oh! I'm cold, or allergies, or my eyes are dry.

If you keep up your appearances, if you act like you're happy, and you smile, and laugh on cue, then you're set. You're fucking golden. 

Why? Because here's the secret, here's the thing, people don't like to concern themselves with bigger things, if the bigger thing don't involve them.

As long as you don't give them a reason to acknowledge it, feel guilty over it, and have to acknowledge it, then they don't press, they don't give a fuckin' damn, because they don't really give a damn about anyone but themselves. Fuckin' big news, that's how people are.

So, in truth, if you're wearing long sleeves to hide the cuts from last Tuesday from when you sliced open your wrist, because your boyfriend always makes you feel as worthless as your parents did... well... 

To other people, it's just the fact you get chilly easily. And if you cried yourself to sleep because you fucking hate your guts and how you screw up everything, then, whoa, we thought it was just allergies. 

Or, if, hey, say you're a damn good kids with some perfect grades and that easy going charming smile that all the girls so obviously love, and you blame how shitty your teeth are on scrubbing them too hard with the tooth brush, and you just like baggy clothing because it's comfortable, why else would you wear it, then... well, how couldn't people ignore the fact you're forcing yourself to throw up in the bathroom at school, because the thought of all that fat clinging to you makes your heart pound and your chest tighten? They thought you just liked baggy clothing and cared too much about your teeth.

See? See?

It's how people are. Don't give them a reason to dig any further, and they won't. Act the way you're supposed to act, and then suddenly things are fine. They let the nastiness stay buried, the things that eat people alive. It's simple. So fucking simple.

They don't want to go through the hassle, you know, because what happens when people find out?

Exactly what you'd fucking expect. They act how they've been taught to act, how they're supposed to, how society forces them to, unless they're a bad person. They act like they care.

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